Maybe I Should'Ve Paid Attnetion Poem by Zahir Kijani

I had a dream that told me what the reality would bring
A certain spiritual death and I couldn’t alter a thing
It was a tale of me and a girl I knew loved me
Even though my confidence wavered between none and ugly

At a party we were and I seemed to be the only male
Hundreds of females at my disposal to meet what I entail
All as beautiful as the sunset over a peaceful beach
In the middle of the summer where two lovers would meet

Each and every one of them was a woman that impacted my life
I dreamed and played the role of taking each of them as a wife
But there was one standing next to me and remained by my side
That seemed she had the will to take me, for without me she’d have died

And she was just as beautiful as all the others there
But for some reason it’s like my heart didn’t seem to care
She called my name and I turned a deaf ear pretending to not see her
I generally loved her but I wished another girl could be her

Calling after me, holding me with a grasp as tight
As a Boa constrictor holding on to his targets neck
And every time I checked another box of my denial chart
She still stood there begging for a piece of my heart

But I just wanted to shop around and see what was on the market
And if there was a valuable item my mental visions would spark it
Lying to me telling me I had the means to make a purchase
So I’d worship them and tried to make them believe I was worth it

And if I was lucky they’d lead me into their field
Only to check another box and that page would be filled…
But still she didn’t care she understood the things I was goin through
But she said “I’m thankful to life just from knowing you”

I did believe her, but there was something I was tryna receive
A beautiful emerald stone and the women seemed to carry the keys
And I tried and I tried, bearing no stem from the seed
I never even got to the tree so there was no fruit guaranteed

But as she stayed there her motivation carried on listless
She was tired of being ignored so she discarded her wish list
And only if I knew then what I knew at this moment
I’d do more than beg for atonement

She left me at the party but it was is if I hadn’t noticed
I kept on trying to find someone that’d give me their focus
But no one had any interest and they kept disappearing
Giving somebody else their attention which I was steadily fearing

So as the night grew old I realized that she wasn’t there
And I searched for her all night and smelled a stench in the air
Also ignoring my senses I figured that she was safely at home
And I landed in my abode, for where else could I roam

And long behold the newscast presented a troubling story
She was found dead on the road and the scene was quite gory
The perpetrators stole everything that she had in possession
If anyone knows anything call the line to make a confession

She was a beautiful young women walking around all alone
Her face shows traces of tears and she owned an emerald stone
I said “An Emerald! ” The one that set my heart ablaze
How could she have had it and I continued to gaze

At the image on my screen tears rapidly streaming out of my eyes
It was a dream I started to realize
So I rewound the dream but each time it was always too late
The moment she threw out her letter, this is forever my fate