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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Moonlight

Rating: 5.0
The passage from cradle to grave
A voyage of sheer consciousness
Some make it with laugh and fun
Some make it a total mess

Childhood and tender youth
For everyone, these times are naïve
Innocence reins, simplicity prevails
Always vibrant always alive

It is the adult who feels the burden –
The right and wrong and do n don’t
This is where you either make it
Or you have not lessons learnt

Success often gets the ticket
To get to go to the life’s choir
To love, to serve, to sing along
To climb the ladder higher n higher

“You’re a winner”, existence whispers
The life force serenades you
You look around in sweet raptures
You feel good about what you do

And if you did have a tougher luck
Or if you did not have the smarts
The going can be topsy turvy
If you couldn’t figure life’s charts

They are the ones strive and struggle
Although my heart cries for ‘em
Unsung heroes and wasted loyals
Ordinary men devalued gems

Who applauds and who does care
Who celebrates these wretched souls
Nothing quite works for them
Bereft of feats bereft of goals

For some the delight easily comes
They float as they get it right
Other, happiness rarely earns
After a toil or even moonlight
Bhaswat Chakraborty
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COMMENTS
Marcella D 18 August 2009
very creative poem you made
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Forest T. Jones 05 August 2009
thank you for the invitation. i like how you analyze human emotions in this poem. I especially like these two stanzas: You’re a winner”, existence whispers The life force serenades you You look around in sweet raptures You feel good about what you do For some the delight easily comes They float as they get it right Other, happiness rarely earns After a toil or even moonlight I am very big on positive poems. you really bring out the positive in these stanzas. but one thing: I didn't get why you called the poem moonlight. i like the poem but there are some weak elements to it your form is great but no rhyming patterm more like a open or free verse. ...
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Vanita Thakkar 16 July 2009
Good observations and reflections in the poem. Good words of compassion, consolation and credit to unsung, unappreciated efforts. Regards, Vanita.
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Londiwe Buthelezi 15 July 2009
i agree with shashandra...my fav line is 'you are a winner, existense whispers...
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Majida Abdul Latif 08 July 2009
living our lives is very important because if we dont live our lives then who well. I love this peom specially the title.
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Edward Kofi Louis 01 July 2009
A very nice piece of work. Thanks for sharing it with us. Edward kofi Louis.
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Oneline Poet 24 June 2009
Well thought out and put together..
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Mikayla Carpenter 20 June 2009
Very unique. Nicely written: ] 10++ from me! !
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Shashendra Amalshan 20 June 2009
oh! ! ! ! this is an inspirational rite indeed...specially for the budding youth sir...please invite some young people to read this one... 'You’re a winner”, existence whispers The life force serenades you You look around in sweet raptures You feel good about what you do And if you did have a tougher luck Or if you did not have the smarts The going can be topsy turvy If you couldn’t figure life’s charts' people in this site make me feel better, when i was feeling down and out...now i m sort of a okay....hey yet now that i m caught in university work..hard to come to site like i used to do...but still do! ! ! ! ..to read such words of wisdom, and encouragement! ! ! ! ! great write10+++ regards shan
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Jasbir Chatterjee 20 June 2009
Yes, you are right, for some success comes easily and life seems very gentle on them and some just 'strive and struggle'. But then the meaning of success also varies. A quote attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson says, 'Success is to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.'
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