My 4th Haiku- - 'waiting' Poem by Practicing Poetess

My 4th Haiku- - 'waiting'



How I wish that I
Could see some of your beauty.
But now, I must wait.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: beauty,wait,wish
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
I leave it to the reader's imagination as to whom or where (location) I refer. Feel free to fill in the
blank with your own choice of person or place.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Barry Middleton 28 June 2017

I agree with Lanz Pierre I think.

3 0 Reply
Lantz Pierre 01 July 2017

verbosity Okay.

0 0

:) Smile Thank you, Barry. (I smiled at the I think part!) In spite of Lantz's verbosity, he means well! Some people cannot handle critical feedback- - they perceive it as negative, and as a personal attack. I choose to see it as helpful, intended for my growth and betterment. It's obvious that Lantz intends it for the latter. Thank you, as always, for commenting and being so gently supportive!

0 0
Lantz Pierre 28 June 2017

I think your comments in the notes about the poem and already well included in the text of the poem. The pronoun I is thrice repeated; twice in the first line that sets up the poem, once in the wonderful backward-looking twist of the last line. The I, of course, is self-reflexive. It reflects back not so much on the author as on each reader who brings their eye upon the text. I generally shy away from poems without any images, you've given us only abstractions here: I, you, beauty and some vague sense of time. I especially feel that haikus need that concrete imagist material to work, general. You have proven the exception. I like how you've used this short, condensed form to put the honus on the reader. On the reader's imagination and intelligence. The reader has to decide how to flesh out all the abstractions. It's intensely personal. As a haiku should be. It's quite sublime.

2 0 Reply

Thanks, Lantz. You have quite an analytical mind! Your insights and helpful critiques are appreciated.

0 0
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success