Souren Mondal

Gold Star - 31,455 Points (10th November 1991 / Chandannagar)

Saint, Sinner, Lover - Poem by Souren Mondal

'A plague upon you, murderers, traitors all!
I might have sav'd her; now she's gone for
[ King Lear,5.3.269-271]

1. Fish and Water

It is said that the soul is like a fish
and body water,
each entirely different from each other
and yet dependant – the fish on the water
that is.

So it holds for You and I,

I am the fish You are the Water,
I exist on You and live upon

And now that you are gone,
I do not really live but survive
like a Betta

But I know one day,
I will gradually lose it all
My struggle for existence without you
will be meaningless,
and one day I will die

But even in death
I shall find no Moksha,
will not be united with the
since it’s You - - You are the

2. The Addict

I have three addictions - - a woman,
Cigarettes and Alcohol.

I loved all three until I left
alcohol for the doctors said that I had
a minor hepatogamy

That was half a year ago
Before that I used to drink a glass of alcohol
every night with three cigarettes in half an hours’ time
playing Decoder Ring’s “More than Scarlet” on repeat
in an empty room with a candle

flickering lights - - flickering memories
of You

It is an interesting combination - - Old Monk,
Silk Cuts and You - - Your memories – all of
them run
in my blood,

A fine exotic Cocktail that my heart pumps
and drives to all my cells.

Rotten Cells that imprison me

And I lean languidly upon a bed of dust mites and sandalwood
Resting my head on my left hand,
with manuscripts of my love poems for You
lying around the floor of scorpions.

I am chained in addictions - - You, nicotine
and the unpurged alcohol in my veins.

All of it in this body and soul – addicted and rotten.

3.To Neena with Love

When all things fall apart we look for Love,
When life becomes too heavy to bear we look for Love,
When Love becomes too much to be taken care of
I look at you - - Neena - - my Girl with the Glasses,
my woman of no importance,
my greatest addiction

my glass butterfly with beautiful stripes of

Transparent yet opaque,

So confidently insecure,
so possessive of me,

you are the subject of all my nightmares
You are the dream I had dreamt of since I learnt
how to dream.

I am a poet who loved you,
I am the lover whom you converted into a poet.

I am a man with your memories,
I am a man with dreams and nightmares,

I am nothing but a mad Lover,
My poetry is in madness
I am nothing but a reflection of yours.

My sins are long - - I desired you in
my dreams,
Fondled each contour of your curvy, beautiful body
with the devotion of a worshipper.

Your naked body, free from all inhibition,
pure and pristine
have flashed a thousand times before me

And I wanted to unite with you,
make love to you with the tenderness
and devotion that Michelangelo
might have shown when he painted
the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling…

I would have made each move with care
and passion mixed in equal proportion
with sheer passion,
choosing them like Tagore chose his words
for his lyrics and songs

Kiss your pink, soft, wet lips
when we would have united in
Stark nakedness of our souls.

And our moans would have been like
Beethoven’s symphonies - - masterpieces - -
works of art.

This was my love for you Neena
- - You and I - - together - - in pure sin of Love
- - together - - till death do us part.

And that Love
would have brought to earth
an Angelic soul - - perhaps
a little Neena,
who would have asked me for
kisses and cuddles
and bedtime stories

And I would have told her our story
- - You and I - - how it all came to be…

And if anyone asks me the question
today I will say only one thing and never stop
until my Chain-smoked lungs burst up - -

“I do. I do. I do. I do.” …

À dieu,

Souren Mondal
October 11,2015

Topic(s) of this poem: love, memories

Form: Free Verse

Comments about Saint, Sinner, Lover by Souren Mondal

  • Nosheen Irfan (3/11/2016 1:00:00 AM)

    Wowww. How love can bring poetry out of a man! This poem is sheer brilliance. You have put your feelings of heart-break in a beautiful flow of words. The reader can certainly feel your pain because you have written this poem from the depths of your heart. Without being melodramatic, you have expressed the intensity of your emotions. And there's a flavor of philosophy too that runs through the poem. When all things fall apart, we look for love...undeniably love is the most powerful emotion. To love n lose are life-changing experiences. One of your best poems. Loved it. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Susan Williams (3/6/2016 2:06:00 PM)

    WoW! ! ! ! Holy cow! ! ! I know such exclamations are not at all literary but those are the exclamations that tore out of me on finishing this piece [if finished I ever will be]. It has stature this poem about a love that stays and aches and burns even when the lover has gone either by death or by choice. It carries that twisting pain of loss, that edge of anger, that overwhelming desire to touch, hear, smell, and see the lover again just one more time and one more time again for the rest of life. Magnificent writing. There! That's what I should have cried out instead of WoW! Magnificent! ! ! But it is a painful poem, writhing in its agony... one can't yell magnificent at a funeral. I shall read this poem again and again. Souren. (Report) Reply

  • Abhilasha Bhatt (2/29/2016 12:03:00 PM)

    You are u know m learning a lot from your poetry.....they all are amazing......far different from other....take me somewhere else where there are too many angles with many different views of life....Wonderful poem....thank you for sharing :) (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (3/6/2016 7:48:00 AM)

    Thank you Abhilasha... : -)

  • Luc Leclaire (2/10/2016 11:28:00 PM)

    Searing verses you have penned. You have a very vivid and relatable voice. (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (2/11/2016 12:04:00 AM)

    Thank you Luc.. It is a
    pleasure to receive your comment :)

  • Akhtar Jawad (1/19/2016 12:55:00 AM)

    you are the subject of all my nightmares
    You are the dream I had dreamt of since I learnt
    how to dream.
    (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (1/21/2016 7:23:00 AM)

    Thank you Jawad sahab..

  • Daniel Brick (12/25/2015 7:31:00 PM)

    The closing parallel in sound but contradiction in meaning of I DO and ADIEU is too painful to bear it's as if the genius of language were teaching us a bitter lesson in how we humans build the illusion of transcendent love that the real world can never support. But I still applaud this passionate poem of commitment and fidelity to an unrequited love. It is a measure of our humanity that we surrender so completely to the heart's truth (The opposite view, which is unworthy, was expressed in a 1970s song: IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH.) // Your poem with the secondary theme of addictions reminds me of the
    struggles of a hero in Dostoevsky, and that is a resonant connection. The individual's suffering however painful in the present will refine his soul. This is no consolation for the pain of ADIEU. Both the present pain and the letting go of its cause serve to deepen the soul, or perhaps make the soul recognize the varied and large range of experience in which it exists. This poem about a vividly present sorrow is really a poem directed toward the future.
    (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (1/21/2016 7:22:00 AM)

    Thank you very much Daniel. At the end of the day, all we have, is just language. It in a defines all our experiences - pain and pleasure, love and loneliness, all of it. I guess, if the poet cannnot say 'I DO' to the one they love, they should say it to their craft...

  • Abdulrazak Aralimatti (11/28/2015 11:51:00 PM)

    Verily, a bold confession of a saint, a past of a sinner
    and the moves of a lover.
    Loved reading and it
    (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (1/21/2016 7:19:00 AM)

    Thanks Abdulrazak.

  • Souren Mondal (11/14/2015 2:33:00 PM)

    Interesting comment Debasish, but unfortunately I couldn't really understand what did you love? My poem or the part you quoted from your own poem Sunflower? ?

    You left me guessing there buddy? ?
    Anyways, thanks for reading my poem and penning such a wonderful critique of it...

    Merci beaucoup :)
    (Report) Reply

  • (11/14/2015 5:13:00 AM)

    I fortify memories with love and rhyme,
    I fight with a pen against Tyrant time,
    Love i suppress - not a heinous crime,
    Platonic it is; but sometime declines.

    Loved it.
    (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/14/2015 6:16:00 PM)

    Debasish, what a privilege! !

  • Bakuli Bhakali (11/13/2015 12:37:00 PM)

    i read the poem several times
    yet, i feel like reading it again....
    (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/13/2015 7:04:00 PM)

    Thank you Bakuli...

  • (11/8/2015 3:32:00 AM)

    So nice and heart touching poem... Many many thanks dear poet (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/13/2015 7:03:00 PM)

    Thanks Tanu..

  • Mohammed Asim Nehal (11/5/2015 10:48:00 PM)

    Outstanding poem and I think this is one of your best poems.......Dipped in philosophy, garmented with silken words and penned with soul searching imagination this poem is indeed a masterpiece. Thanks for sharing, Loved it. (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/13/2015 9:55:00 PM)

    Thank you Asim :) I really appreciate it...

  • Valsa George (11/5/2015 9:53:00 PM)

    A poem intensely passionate and strikingly beautiful........ confessing your raw addictions and reiterating your greatest passion for the cynosure of your eyes.... Neena! But there is a tone of melancholy and regret that you are squandering your life over your addictions! Nothing is beyond recovery! If you wish you, can weed out unwanted habits if they harm your body and soul! As a poem, I loved it! (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/5/2015 10:48:00 PM)

    Thank you a lot ma'am.. Yes, we are always in with a chance for a resurrection as long as we have hope in your hearts and faith in ourselves...

  • Brian Mayo (11/5/2015 7:10:00 PM)

    You've written an excellent love poem. You have my respect. (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/5/2015 10:45:00 PM)

    Thank you Brian :)

  • Souren Mondal (11/3/2015 7:52:00 PM)

    The fish and soul analogy actually comes from Indian Metaphysics where the soul is compared to the fish and the body is compared to water.. There are many more references in the poem, ranging from, as I mentioned ancient Indian philosophical texts, to Shakespeare and Baudelaire even... I hopefully would soon add a poet's note to this poem to clarify what my intentions were with this poem.... (Report) Reply

  • Pamela Sinicrope (11/3/2015 9:42:00 AM)

    This is a heartfelt poem. You did a nice job of carrying your fish-water metaphor throughout the poem. The writing is again very raw and difficult, reflecting the intensity of addiction and young infatuation. I particularly appreciated the ending... A brilliant play on words! Adieu! (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/3/2015 7:47:00 PM)

    Thank you a lot Pam... I really appreciate your feedback all the time :)

  • Fabrizio Frosini (11/1/2015 6:32:00 AM)

    now.. I can tell you about your poem - surely a well written poem -.. but I'll do it through an email. ok? (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (11/3/2015 7:48:00 PM)

    Thank You Fabrizio.. I have taken note of your well thought comments on the poem :)

  • Fabrizio Frosini (11/1/2015 6:30:00 AM)

    again.. I had to check at Wiki for 'Moksha':

    In Indian religions and Indian philosophy, moksha (Sanskrit: मोक्ष mokṣa) , also called vimoksha, vimukti and mukti, means emancipation, liberation or release.
    In the soteriological and eschatological sense, it connotes freedom from saṃsāra, the cycle of death and rebirth.
    In the epistemological and psychological sense, moksha connotes freedom, self-realization and self-knowledge
    (Report) Reply

  • Fabrizio Frosini (11/1/2015 6:29:00 AM)

    first, let me say, Souren, that when you use terms which are not well known by many, you should add a note, explaining their meaning.. ;)

    Betta - from Wikipedia [ I had to check, as I didn't know what a Betta is.. :) ]:
    it is a large genus of small, often colorful, freshwater ray-finned fishes in the gourami family (Osphronemidae) . By far the best known Betta species, however, is B. splendens, the Siamese fighting fish.
    (Report) Reply

  • Kelly Kurt (10/31/2015 2:58:00 PM)

    An epic and emotional masterpiece. Thanks, Souren (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (10/31/2015 9:09:00 PM)

    Thank you Kelly...

Read all 34 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, October 31, 2015

Poem Edited: Saturday, October 31, 2015

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