Searching In The Dark Poem by Avik Datta Gupta

Here I am.searching


Engulfed by the darkness of the night


The half bitten moon offers it's faintest glimmer


Enough to illuminate the eyes of a dreamer


Obscured once a while, by the passing clouds of thought..


All kinds of thoughts..and wishful thinking


Feeling high awhile and sometimes sinking


I let loose myself, .. I haven't an urge to turn the tide


No space for any pretensions, that I'd really need to hide


As I seek to find the epicenter of my cyclonic thoughts,


The cause of a feeling, an introspection of some sort


That keeps racing in and out


Etching in me it's signature, as it departs


Like an unexplainable work of art


Which strangely is nothing but a part of myself..


The thoughts are mine and so are the dreams


But at the end of it, I don't know what it all means


Colours of all kinds.. feelings of sorts..from my own being


Even those ones I'd swear to be totally unreal


That iota of me that is there vestigial..


That is there in me, un-noticed and un-utilized because


I never found it's existence since I never needed it's cause


Here I am, in search for the hidden..somewhere.. in some way


Hidden in me like a needle in a stack of hay


I am searching in the darkness of the night


I seek no object, and I don't need any light


I seek for some remembrances, blurred in my memories


A single tear from an ocean, a dream.. like a gentle breeze


Visiting me, momentarily, to be forgotten the next day..


Reappearing again in my wandering recollections..


Keeping itself a subject in my self conversations


Wherein I laugh and sometimes tears roll by..


Sometimes I've felt annoyed and sometimes felt shy


As I turned the pages of my storybook in fragments unwritten


See how far I remember and how much I've forgotten


As a half bitten real live cookie dipped in a cup of steaming fantasies..


Softening..breaking off drowning somewhere in my memories


And here I am, 'biding my time in darkness' as you say..


Searching for a needle in a stack of hay