Hunter Dasten

Rookie (May 3rd 1987)

She Watches The Sunset - Poem by Hunter Dasten

The blue sky stretches far across the tepid marshland.
A delicate amethyst which surrounds the crouching sun
signals every cloud to it's place along the horizon.

She stands focused on the beauty of this days' decay,
as a calm descends upon her with the weight of a falling star.
She has found her peace in the flushing quiet that has consumed her mind.

I envy the setting sun as it marvels her eyes.
For I have spent the eternity that is often young love
wishing that I might find the answer in rhyme.
Yet in this fleeting moment I graciously turn away.
All that really matters is that she's found her eden
in the docksides' fading day.


Comments about She Watches The Sunset by Hunter Dasten

  • Aria Siren (11/3/2012 10:12:00 AM)


    This poem is breathtaking. So lovely. The lines:

    She stands focused on the beauty of this days' decay,
    as a calm descends upon her with the weight of a falling star.

    and

    Yet in this fleeting moment I graciously turn away.
    All that really matters is that she's found her eden
    in the docksides' fading day.

    take me to the scene of your poem and make me want to linger there. One of my favourites for sure.
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  • (12/16/2011 10:51:00 PM)


    Wonderful poem, good ending too. (Report) Reply

  • Indira Renganathan (2/6/2010 9:11:00 AM)


    Wonderful...especially the last two lines....thank you (Report) Reply

  • (2/3/2010 10:14:00 PM)


    The way this is written is amazing, As a romance freak I absolutly love this poem. To be able to paint such a vivid picture with so few words is true art. I can't wait to see what worlds your words will paint next. Awesome Work! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Leah Ayliffe (1/30/2010 11:28:00 PM)


    This is pure poetry,
    it took my breath away
    beautiful.
    (Report) Reply

  • (1/30/2010 11:09:00 AM)


    it was buteiful i loved it from the girl gindding happeines and the guy leaaveing so the girl can stay happy. it is a great poem keep wrieting (Report) Reply

  • Allemagne Roßmann (1/29/2010 10:18:00 PM)


    The blue sky stretches far across the tepid marshland.

    It stretches far the reader with his imaginative radar.And imaginations are sometimes elixir for long standing agony.Your attempt simply does that.Thanks.10 i will give-though may be it will not add your carton -i am banned member here.

    But i wish you all the very best.
    (Report) Reply

  • (1/29/2010 7:11:00 PM)


    Wow, I love the picture of the sunset. And also the mention of envy because I've never thought of it like that. Someone envying a sunset because it's done something instantly that they couldn't achieve over a long period of time. It's very beautiful! (Report) Reply

  • (1/29/2010 9:28:00 AM)


    My My My! Hunter, this poem is beautifully written. Your vivid perception and striking image of a sunset seen through the eyes of 'She' is just magnificence. (Report) Reply

  • (1/29/2010 7:06:00 AM)


    The poem stands out for its sheer beauty. (Report) Reply

  • C. P. Sharma (1/28/2010 10:22:00 PM)


    The lingering beauty of the 'maturing sun' with all its 'mellow fruitfulness'. Awesome poetry with choicest metaphors and diction. Thanks for sharing.
    CP
    (Report) Reply

  • (1/28/2010 9:54:00 PM)


    gorgeous poem, love the intensity (Report) Reply

  • Lexi Zamora (1/28/2010 9:37:00 PM)


    wow this is so good, it paints a perfect, vivid picture.
    very good im very impressed
    (Report) Reply

  • Romeo Della Valle (1/28/2010 9:22:00 PM)


    I am very impressed with your style of freely expressing your feelings, very heart touching and well penned, you have a great talent and a long way to go to prove to yourself, me and the rest of the world of this great poetic talent, Keep it up, you are in the right track and site, PH,10+++Love and Peace... (Report) Reply

  • (1/28/2010 9:15:00 PM)


    i lied if i say this is not good..becoz from the title down to the last word, this is excellent..so smart ''she'' stands as the reflection of herself..so nice to represent herself as to what nature is being said...the very delicate modifier is written here, , , and it is so warm to read... (Report) Reply

  • (1/28/2010 5:16:00 AM)


    its a beautiful poem....'She has found her peace in the flushing quiet that has consumed her mind.'... these lines are amazing... (Report) Reply

  • (1/27/2010 11:01:00 PM)


    a lovely romantic piece is this...i really enjoyed and let me say..go on..you are doing a good job...10/10 (Report) Reply

  • (1/27/2010 10:26:00 PM)


    The blue sky stretches........sun.........
    signals every cloud to it's place along the horizon.

    Vivid images here and grand imagination in the clouds being dictated and directed by the delicate Amethyst...the opening is grand and meaningful. A powerful scene is painted here....wow is the word....


    She stands..... beauty of a days' decay.....
    ......... weight of a falling star.
    .......flushing quiet that has consumed her mind.

    Beautiful metaphors here, beauty in the decay can only be seen with a matured and seasoned mind as is depicted here by your words....I really liked the phrase ' Weight of a falling star which is subtle yet powerful way of communicating a meaningful dimension.....flushing quiet that has consumed her...this is reflection of love for observation, searching peace and meaning in things that are ignored by a material self and mind.....the readers are hooked here.....really a good build up to the beautiful begining.....

    I envy the setting sun........
    ......spent the eternity......
    .........find the answer in rhyme.
    ...........
    she's found her eden
    in the docksides' fading day.

    This is a lovely twist and stimulating drift, a strong parallel to human life can be drawn here, envying the sun for it marvels her eye, reflects a subtle sigh in an agening heart and body that has spent the eternity of youth love. this also reflects a subtle lamentation here...then the realisation sets in....and one turns to rhyme, to explore life and beyond, to get the images out of a fading sun across a marshy land...through delicate rhymes....wonderful ending too....

    this poem is a marvel and you are a gifted poet
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Poem Edited: Sunday, May 1, 2011


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