Simple Questions Poem by Kim Barney

Some people have asked me to put all my Simple Questions together, because Poem Hunter is messed up, and does not always work when trying to use the Next Poem and Previous Poem functions. So… here they are. A few have been modified slightly from the original to make them clearer or shorter.

One
Here's a deep question;
soak it in, but please don't drown.
What time of day, when in all caps,
looks the same upside down?

Two
Poor Pablo lives in San José,
but his brain's failing him today.
His mind is troubled by a theft:
Take gold from treasure; what is left?

(Hint: Living in San José, Costa Rica, he speaks no English.)

Three
Here's a bit of information
I learned from my mother:
When geese fly in 'V' formation,
why's one side longer than the other?

Four
A woman gave a beggar a dollar
but the beggar was sore
and commenced to holler
that she should have given more.

The woman was the beggar's sister;
they had the same mother,
yet here's the story's twister:
the beggar was not her brother.

Is the reason plain?
How can you explain?

Five
My brother and I are the same age.*
We're reading a book, and on the same page.
We like the same sports and dress just alike,
but have to take turns when riding our bike.

We have the same father and have the same mother.
I love him so much; he's my only brother.
We've had few disappointments and so many wins.
Can you possibly explain how we are not twins?

*(Dear reader, let me also say
that we were born on the same day,
same month, same year.
Is that more clear?)

Six
You're welcome to test this at home;
That way you don't have to go far.
How many quarters can you put
in an empty half-pint jar?

Seven
An old 78 rpm record
is something that really moves,
but here's an interesting question:
it has how many grooves?

Eight
This one used to puzzle me,
but it no longer will:
what has 21 spots on it,
and yet is never ill?

Nine
Puzzles are my project,
and here's one that I found:
what was the first man-made object
to travel faster than the speed of sound?

Ten
After visiting some relatives
on their ranches, homes and farms,
I discovered something
with four legs and two arms!

Do you think you could tell me
what on earth it could be?

Eleven
After a long and arduous journey, your ship arrives at a certain sea, which was your intended destination. However, there is no water to be seen anywhere. In fact, there never was any water, and you knew that perfectly well before you set out. So why did you navigate your ship to this sea?

Twelve
Rufus is a fishmonger. He stands six feet seven inches in his stockings, takes size XXXL in clothes, and wears size 15 shoes. Fully dressed, what do you think he weighs?

Thirteen
Sidney always complains that many people lie,
and that if they told the truth, then they would buy
more of his goods, and that is no mistake.
So tell me, please: what does Sidney make?

Fourteen
Perhaps you think this question is absurd,
but what has three hands,
the second hand really being the third?

Fifteen
Freddy fears all doctors;
the thought fills him with dread,
but one day he notices a large,
black growth on his head.

He has no surgical knowledge,
no medical books on his shelf,
and yet he somehow manages
to remove the growth himself.
How?

Sixteen
Farmer Scarem has an electronic bird-frightening machine that emits an alarming bang once per minute. If he sets the timer so that the first bang sounds at 6 a.m., how many times will it have gone off by 7 a.m.?

Seventeen
Mr. and Mrs. Newlywed moved into their new home and then went to the local DIY store to make an important purchase.
'How much is one? ' asked the husband.
'Three dollars, ' came the reply.
'What about 20? '
'That'll cost you $6.'
'Okay, well, we need 2042.'

What were they buying and how much did they pay?

Eighteen
I'm not trying to sell you a bill of goods,
but how far can a dog run into the woods?

Nineteen
In India, once, a queen owned two horses
and used them to quell opposing forces,
those of a neighboring king.
In a hard battle, the queen was more skilled
and all of the king's men were killed.
Some of the queen's men also died,
and when the battle was over,
victors and vanquished all lay side by side
in the same place.
Explain.

Twenty
The talk of the town is the old village clock;
it's been there since nineteen eleven.
If it takes twenty seconds for the clock to strike five,
how long does it take to strike seven?

21
Holy guacamole, and shades of Julius Caesar,
What PH poet's name scrambled is HAMSTER VISA?

22
I've never seen the like,
since I can't remember when,
but what PH poet's name
scrambles to D.C. CAVALRYMEN?

23
Perhaps of scrambled words you're not a fan,
but what PH poet's name transforms to LIME SHAMAN?

24
This one is surely hard to miss:
What PH poet's name scrambles to YARMULKE SIS?

25
A TASTY VIGIA contains the same
letters as what PH poet's name?

26
Now here's an unscrambling that you might try:
What PH poet's name scrambles to MIKE RAN BY?

27
Is it a her or is it a him?
What PH poet's name scrambles to MANACLES JIM?

28
Jim and his brother Joe are married to Jenny and Jill, who are both sisters, and yet Jim and Joe have different mothers-in-law. How can this be?

29
Solve this and then
you can brag to your pals:
What former PH poet's name
scrambles to OVERAGE GALS?

30
Solve this and I'll think that you are great:
what PH poet's name scrambles to SENIOR DEFLATE?

31
What relationship is my first cousin's first cousin to me? (NOT me or one of my siblings)

32
When I turn on my microwave oven,
the center turns in a counter-clockwise
direction, but when my daughter uses
hers, it spins clockwise.
Which way does yours turn?
I'm curious to see how many
turn one way, and how many
turn the other.