Humble submission:
[Rabindranath Tagore (RNT) at old age wrote many romantic poems / songs on Ashrama Balika [hermitage girls] …here I’ve made a paradigm shift…
In UK I watch at ‘closeangle’ the voidness of many retired widowmen …they’ve pension and other amenities…but voidness in mind…eagering heart to get solace…psychic… from someone… and my empathic sharing … it led me to portray this poem ~ niv]
~ SOUSEDOUSE DIPDOUSE ~
Ms. Nivedita
UK
December 21,2009.
In your twilightage
Lay heart for caresses
Discover fluffy edge
Glide with my psychic sledge.
Age no bar,
Stupid number
I fie phew blunt blunder.
My risingsun age
‘Keep no haze’
Discover my crazeamaze.
Why otiose frown
Hey beau Hon
Cuddle nuzzle
Why fumble
In me be nimble.
Lay pink bosoms’ carpets
Listen love euphony
Snuggles n’ gyrates.
Dame Jane is not
Will-o’-the-wisp
But red nip
Sip n’ sozzled n’ sip.
No go not
Close n’ abut
Knit love knot.
Sky seeking sleep
O’ John race heart’s beep
Just a buss in silence
Eurekaize my elegance.
Your adrenalite agitated inn
Soothe in my emotive endorphin.
Come in hey John
Jane waiting in bedecks
Marvel aqua mansion
Sousedouse dipdowse
Bask doting physiquedawn.
Dame Jane is morning roses
For twilightage John
E’er nears n’ closes.
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Copyright reserved by the author
Hi NIV - I am honoured to read this beautiful emotive Love Poem and write a comment - especially as my name is John and a very favoured John features in verses 8,10,11. I score it a worthy ten - on every count. To me the poem is an entreaty and an invitation - to those beyond a certain age - to still be prepared to explore the delights of love with a younger partner. There are mentions Twilightage (> 70?) 'Age no bar' 'O'John race heart beat' (The luck of the Irish LOL) and 'Twilightage John' and the Lady is 'Rising Sun age - 20 to 30 perhaps. The invite is quite specific to enjoy the delights of Jane's young and virile body - The language is cryptic Fluffy edge - Crazeamaze - Pink bosoms carpet - red nip - Eurekaise my elegance (I love that one) - sooth in my emotive endorphin (I wish I had written that line) - Sousedouse - dipdouse (this is full-on) etc but the nuances are crystal clear - this is the great art of emotive poetry - well don agin NIV you are awesome. To call this poem erotiic would be an understatement. Love you in Poetry - JOHN X X X
Wonderful write dear writer, Like a symphony of old piano, it can called carol of sentiment, but it is original vision to hurt our hearts, and to force to thing our brains,10+
An old adage ‘a kick of wench is better than embrace of golden ager’ LOL! … Here we find reverse swing…Dame Jane swimming against the current…BOLD conception…Daring… But the 'Submission' is worth contemplating… Who can Sousedouse Dipdouse…? Hey young Dames are you listening? Come forward and be trendsetter. 10+++ AB London
Like fairytale … offbeat romance …may come true in numbers some day... ‘…Dame Jane is not // Will-o’-the-wisp // But red nip // Sip n’ sozzled n’ sip…’ Wonderful lines… gritty and palpable… 10+++
Nivedita You are an exquisite weaver of words.The comments on your poems get me closer to their meaning.But I would someday write a poem like yours and present it to you. Continue surprising us with your enigmaticmagnetic esoteric poetry.
‘SOUSEDOUSE DIPDOUSE’ nice word coupling … styling-titling Appeal is just and help is must…thanks Poet for such gesture We find for oldies poet delved deep into their inside ….of there solitariness and old age voidness ….straight appeal, ‘Eurekaize my elegance’ Wow! ! Dame Jane is morning roses/For twilightage John/E’er nears n’ closes….words of great assurance …thanks 10+
It was a poem that was very hard for me to understand, but after reading it twice it began to come across. Thanks for the invite niv a good poem. Lynn
‘…Your adrenalite agitated inn/Soothe in my emotive endorphin…’ Adrenaline is sympathomimatic and Endorphin [brains own luller] Poet’s observation on widowmen is very right….psychic voidness they suffer from… And very romantically young damsel leniently as extra bonanza loved to share romance to fill the voidness Indeed a paradigm shift 10+++
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
niv this is beautiful words flow 10