Kim Barney


The Ugly Brother - Poem by Kim Barney

When I see my brother
we like to call each other
ugly just for fun.Of course,
he's very handsome.
I'm the ugly one.

He sez, you bin taken them ugly pills again
and I say well, I only took two but you musta taken ten!
Then I say you look like you bin whupped wit a ugly stick
and he sez I wuz but it din't take, but wit you it did the trick!
Then he sez when you wuz bein' born they thot you wuz breech,
and well, after you come out they still couldn't tell!
Then I say when you wuz born you wuz so ugly
the doctor done slapped our mama!
Then he sez is that your face
or a map of Yokohama?

Then we both laugh and hug each other
because I really love my brother.

Topic(s) of this poem: brother, family, humor


Poet's Notes about The Poem

written 01 October 2014
Recife, Pernambuco, Brasil

deleted 25 December 2014 and resubmitted with new title in order to get rid of that obnoxious soundtrack added by PH

28 December 2014 title changed back to original

Comments about The Ugly Brother by Kim Barney

  • (9/28/2019 4:11:00 PM)

    Very, very funny! Good one! (Report)Reply

    (10/1/2019 8:38:00 PM)

    Thank you. This is one of my oldest poems.

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Kim Barney (8/15/2019 5:00:00 PM)

    Thanks to all who have commented. Sorry I can't reply to each one. My time is limited now and i seldom even log in anymore. (Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rose Marie Juan-austin (8/15/2019 11:47:00 AM)

    Amazingly humorous write.
    Only a few minds can create and construct such
    a unique and witty poem.
    The bond between brothers is just wonderfully portrayed.
    The photo that goes with this poem enhances the fun
    that this write brings.
    (Report)Reply

    Kim Barney(8/15/2019 4:57:00 PM)

    Rose Marie, thank you so much. Your comment is very generous.

    3 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Annette Aitken (8/9/2016 9:32:00 AM)

    Ha ha ha its great to have that rapore within the family, I'm the youngest of 7 so I know what you mean ha ha...loving the photo

    Annette
    (Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Howard The Motivational Poet Simon (3/6/2016 11:33:00 PM)

    A creative composition filled with sibling fun! (Report)Reply

    10 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Abdulrazak Aralimatti (1/2/2016 7:00:00 AM)

    Verily, a fine narration of the dialogue and a fine expression
    of brothers' childhood that makes us to recall our childhood.
    (Report)Reply

    10 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Marilyn Lott (12/11/2015 9:58:00 PM)

    I remember me and my older brother giving each other a bad time too. And fighting when we played games was part of the game. Unfortunately my mother didn't enjoy it like we did. Awwww, those memories, huh? Great, Kim, really fun reading! (Report)Reply

    12 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Wes Vogler (11/11/2015 10:35:00 PM)

    I envy you the free-going conversation with your brother. My brothers were spaced at six year intervals and the
    communication just wasn't there. The exception was my older brother who had the communication skills of a
    goat. The exception being only a two year difference. He failed at school and we wound up in the same class.
    is ego was satisfied with beatings. I did learn to be fleet of foot. Thank you, as they say, for sharing. 10 lus in warmth alone.
    (Report)Reply

    12 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Pamela Sinicrope (10/22/2015 6:40:00 PM)

    Hilarious! ! ! I have three sons and I could imagine that kind of banter in the future... And you still like each other... So that's great! ! ! (Report)Reply

    11 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Bri Edwards (9/15/2015 9:10:00 PM)

    now this shall be # 21 in my/our list of PH poems in my/our September 'showcase for PH poets' on my PH site.

    thanks. i don't remember this photo; did you change the photo as well as the title?

    bri :)

    more info:

    breech birth
    noun
    noun: breech birth; plural noun: breech births; noun: breech delivery; plural noun: breech deliveries

    a delivery of a baby so positioned in the uterus that the buttocks or feet are delivered first.

    :)
    (Report)Reply

    Kim Barney(9/18/2015 4:29:00 PM)

    Actually, Bri,
    I just read my poet's notes and it seems that I DID change the title for three days back in December, then changed it back. I don't even remember what I changed it to for those three days!

    Kim Barney(9/18/2015 4:26:00 PM)

    I did change the photo, but not the title. I asked my siblings if I should change it back to the original photo. Only one of them replied. She said she liked this one better, so I left it.

    13 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (6/24/2015 1:32:00 PM)

    Laughing out loud! Great! I wish I had a brother who would fence: with me... Keep it coming :) (Report)Reply

    15 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Lyn Paul (6/14/2015 5:14:00 PM)

    I think the brother in the photo is very cute, that rugged look.
    Thanks for the smiles
    (Report)Reply

    17 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (4/2/2015 7:04:00 AM)

    hee hee hee! So sweet Kim! I grew up with 5 sisters and I know the story well! I'm sure that your brother got a kick out of that photo........ (Report)Reply

    22 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Damian Murphy (3/25/2015 1:48:00 PM)

    excellent, a really enjoyable read. (Report)Reply

    24 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Bri Edwards (3/11/2015 8:03:00 PM)

    you got comments from some of my favorite PH friends/poets. (Darlene, Valsa, Mandolyn) (all women of course)

    and well, after you come out they still couldn't tell! ............ this line made me laugh...outloud! i couldn't help myself.

    i've heard of an ugly stick but i don't think i've heard the breech line before now.
    in investigating the spelling of breech (just checking, sir) , i ran across some definitions i did not know or know well.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    breech
    brēCH/
    noun
    noun: breech; plural noun: breeches

    1.
    the part of a cannon behind the bore.
    the back part of a rifle or gun barrel.
    2.
    archaic
    a person's buttocks.

    verb
    archaic
    verb: breech; 3rd person present: breeches; past tense: breeched; past participle: breeched; gerund or present participle: breeching

    1.
    put (a boy) into breeches after being in petticoats since birth.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    BUT the definitions must not be complete, as i doubt a boy was put into either 1-part of a cannon or other gun OR 2- someone's buttocks............though i would be interested in seeing such an event in either case, as long as i wasn't the boy.
    ya know, that primate do look a bit like my younger bro!

    UNFORTUNATELY, some people do {in the opinion of some others] look like they've been beaten with the stick (or at least not gotten their fair share of what is considered good looks) . it is too bad that that can make such a difference to some people, especially when outward physical appearance gets in the way of people learning how nice (or not nice) those people are inside! i dislike when i hear a person say to a 'new mom'....'oh, what a beautiful baby/child you have! ' how could that make another 'less attractive' kid feel, etc? ?

    bri :)
    (Report)Reply

    24 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (3/8/2015 4:49:00 PM)

    This is just amazing...and as someone has already observed...A gem. (Report)Reply

    24 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Fabrizio Frosini (1/23/2015 8:28:00 AM)

    a witty lyric, Kim, you made me laugh, thank you (Report)Reply

    25 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (1/14/2015 6:36:00 AM)

    I laughed wildly as I read it. This is a piece that cracks your ribs. Thanks for the good humours. (Report)Reply

    26 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (1/14/2015 6:36:00 AM)

    I laughed wildly as I read it. This is a piece that cracks your ribs. Thanks for the good humours. (Report)Reply

    26 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Darlene Walsh (1/13/2015 3:26:00 PM)

    lol, very entertaining and fun to read. (Report)Reply

    26 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
Read all 27 comments »




Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags


Poem Submitted: Thursday, December 25, 2014

Poem Edited: Tuesday, January 22, 2019


[Report Error]