Ogden Nash
New York / United States
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To My Valentine

Rating: 3.5
More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That's how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That's how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That's how you're loved by me.
Monday, January 13, 2003
Topic(s) of this poem: valentine
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COMMENTS
Ratnakar Mandlik 08 February 2019
Fantastic flight of imagery and style of expression. Congrats on modern poem of the Day.
0 0 Reply
Practicing Poetess 08 February 2019
A colourful, witty poem creatively comparing love in some quite unexpected ways! Very deserving of POD!
1 0 Reply
Tom Allport 08 February 2019
A poem that is more than a poem? More of a declaration of Nash's heartfelt thoughts!
2 0 Reply
Dr Antony Theodore 08 February 2019
I love you more than a duck can swim, And more than a grapefruit squirts, I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore, And more than a toothache hurts... examples are so good.. tony
1 0 Reply
Adrian Flett 08 February 2019
Turning everything up side down again. Great stuff.
1 0 Reply
Fred Filios 13 February 2018
The version quoted above is the earliest version but not the best. The two I quoted below are better and later versions He improves the poem and replaces some of the out of date lines with something equally or more witty. The pity is that the version quoted above is the only one you can find on the internet. I have noticed that the internet is very incestuous, copying endlessly what one person posts and never looking further.
1 1 Reply
Fred Filios 13 February 2018
When Nash and Weill wrote One Touch of Venus this poem was revised and rewritten with several new lines and additional verses which are amusing. The limitation on characters in this comment do not permit me to quote it but here are a few gems: As a dachshund abhors revolving doors. and, As much as a lifeguard hates to swim, / Or a writer hates to read, / As Hays office frowns on low cut gowns, /That's how much you I need.
1 1 Reply
Fred Filios 13 February 2018
In his book Marriage Lines: notes of a student husband, The poem was revised to something better. The character limitations on this comment do not allow me to fully quote it but here is the rewritten last verse I love you more than a bronco bucks, Or a Yale man cheers the Blue. Ask not what is this thing called love; It's what I'm in with you.
1 1 Reply
Bharati Nayak 14 February 2017
Love and hatred are two diagonally opposite emotions.A lover who is in deep passion may go through these two emotions - - if faced with betrayal..
2 1 Reply
Ratnakar Mandlik 14 February 2017
As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths.. Excellent conceptualization. Congrats on modern poem of the Day.
1 1 Reply

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