What Bri Edwards Wants....For Christmas....And Beyond
No cut evergreen tree stands, decorated, in my wife's house.
We expect no reindeer pulling a sleigh, but HAD a mouse...
till one day it felt it'd be safe from me, beneath a small rug...
and my BIG, slippered-foot pressed on it, crushing it like a bug.
We exchange NO gifts, NOR cards, and have no fancy meal.
Yes, for us NO holiday, birthday, NOR anniversary is a big deal.
BUT, as I have extra online-time today I'd like to, ...to YOU, say:
There ARE some 'gifts' I want (ALWAYS) , but for them I'll NOT pray.
Electricity & Water
Electricity provides light, heat, etc. I'd NOT wish....to go without.
If it vanished I'd NOT be 'at a loss for words'; I'D SHOUT!
Water sources, in some areas are now drying up, or so 'they' say,
while at times storms bring TOO much water, prompting: 'GO AWAY! '
Friends & Healthy Food
Friends, here and elsewhere, help me to have a fulfilling life.
Believe it or not, among my friends I DO include my wife!
Healthy food keeps my body fueled and my mind from going numb.
My wife pushes healthy foods my way, but hides her Devil's Rum.
A Roof Over My Head
Shelter, Home, A Roof Over My Head, call it what you will.
A tiny apartment, with 'indoor plumbing', can 'fill the bill'.
But a plush penthouse overlooking Manhattan would also be OK...
as long as YOU or someone else (all of my housing bills) ... will pay!
Adequate Clothing
I'm not a dressy dresser; my wife agrees very much with me.
In fact I have more than I need; many of you would agree.
And what I have I, at times, wear till......they plead to be cleaned.
I've always been a frugal guy, a trait of which I'll NOT be weaned!
Toothbrush
I wish I never 'had to' brush my aging teeth; I do it once a day.
But I've 'lost' a few in 6+ decades, and I hope the rest will stay.
I hate to floss (and don't do it) , as it's too difficult for me,
but I use The Doctor's Brush Picks! Try them. You'll see!
Toilet Paper
Now I've come to the end of my list. You are at the......... BOTTOM.
Without Toilet Paper, there'd be too many flies to swat 'em!
As a girl, Mom used catalog pages to wipe her Yankee Bum,
I'll STICK with my pal toilet paper, ......my toilet chum**! !
(December 20th, 2022)
** chum: 'An intimate friend or companion' [and also a kind of fish]
Bri Edwards
I feel sort of guilty 'cause I have all I really want already, I hope my luck continues.
I too have everything I want or need. I wish every person in the world could have a roof over his head, warm clothing, abundant food and clean water, and all the necessities.
It's a rant, says David Wood. I think it's not; rhymes are quite good. He gave one star; I'll give it four. Total's not as bad as before.
I'm looking forward to reading about my 'rant'; thanks for the headsup, Ron. : )
Despite 'problems' on PH, esp. witihin these last (hopefully not the 'last' for PH) two years, I toast PoemHunter as a welcome member of poetry sites available, ....& this one IS free! ! ! And thanks, Readersl I see, in 'Notifications'. that Belle Wassermeister left a comment. : )
" a plush penthouse overlooking Manhattan would also be OK... as long as YOU or someone else (all of my housing bills) ... will pay! " hilarious
It's not a poem, not even verse, it's a rant and for that you get one star.
But, SERIOUSLY, WHY DOES dw SAY SUCH THINGS? It isn't humorous, it isn't true (maybe he DID give one star?) , and it certainly makes me wonder who sounds crazy, him or me? ? ? ? ? ; (
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
I remember using pages from the Sears and Roebuck catalog when toilet paper was in short supply...
Me, too!