Dee Daffodil

When My Mom Died... - Poem by Dee Daffodil

When my Mom died
Many years ago
I was left with the hollow feeling
That told me that
Something was missing...

Well of course my MOM
Was missing! !
I think that's pretty obvious...
But in actuality...
She had been missing for years

It seemed that after
My Dad died...
Mom just faded into a blur
It was like watching
Someone sinking...ever so slowly
Into quicksand...
And being unable to save them

I realized
While sorting through her things
That what was really and truly missing
Was my knowledge of...
Who she really was...

I was left with dozens of unanswered questions...
I knew her face...
Knew her voice...
But never knew...
What was on the inside...

Did she love my father...
Or was she...just getting by?
Did she love life...
Or was she waiting to die?
Did she have any passions?
Did she have regrets?
Did she know I loved her...
And yet couldn't quite reach her?

I think her whole life changed
That day in the hospital
When she met my Dad
He had returned from war
Quite possibly...
A changed man

I'm convinced...
Her life changed
From that day forward... be brutally honest...
Not necessarily in a good way...

Thirty years plus...
They stayed together...
Many times...
I asked myself 'why'?
The marriage was somewhat...
Stormy...shall we say...

Oh...there were moments
Of laughter and fun
And I try to hang onto those
But all in all...
I think it turned her into
A battered, broken soul
That no one...
Was ever able to fix

So I've made a decision
In my life...

My children will know me
I may not always be here
I may not spend
Every waking moment of the day
With them...
But they will know me

I will show them my passions
And encourage them
To be passionate as well
They will know that I love them
And they will feel that love
They will know that I love LIFE!

Yes...I will show them my soul
And they will know me...
They may not like everything they see...
And that's quite all right
But when the time comes...
That I'm no longer here...
I don't want them to have
Those unanswered questions...

Life is too short after all...
To be questioning our past

Dee Daffodil (HW) 3 April,2008

Comments about When My Mom Died... by Dee Daffodil

  • (9/7/2008 3:40:00 PM)

    My is rather complicated at best...replete with agonizing twists and turns. Think...good thoughts...of your perhaps.....having done the very best she could......under trying circumstances. And.....through lessons you've
    learned...continue striving toward a different connect with your children! Best wishes.
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  • (4/4/2008 9:40:00 AM)


    SO, they are going to get to know you...
    weather they want to or not!
    Wouldn't it be nice if more parents showed
    that kind of interest in thier children?
    Sadly, far too many don't.

    (Report) Reply

  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr (4/3/2008 5:25:00 PM)

    The old cliche(hate groping for cliche's, but still i do) ''Go Forward'' so apropos here, that i had to employ it. Your delving into what your Mom left behind, is normal, healthy & in many cases offers closure....And, though, in your case, total closure may not have presented itself, still it appears that you may have at least obtained a more concrete undersatanding as to the woman she was, and why she may have chose not to burden you with things that you could not change for her. Which, in essence, makes her, in her own way, a very special woman, and Mom.Great Work here, Ms.Dee, as always!

    ~ FjR ~
    (Report) Reply

  • Ernestine Northover (4/3/2008 10:14:00 AM)

    How very true Dee, and a wonderful decision to make and adhere to. Regrets are no good after the events, we need to open up and let people in to find the inner soul of us. Lovely write and a pleasure to read.
    Love and hugs Ernestine XXX
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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 3, 2008

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