A Girly Tale Poem by sylvia spencer

I sat in a cafe an ate a cake I knew I had too
because I was getting as thin as a rake.
'As thin as a rake' my Mother said if you don't
eat more you will soon be dead; so I sat an
thought about what she had said.
I sat for hours puzzling what to do, then Dad
started shouting 'have you finished in the loo.
I have to get to work, I don't have time to fuss
and because of you I have missed my bus!
I came home from that cafe called The Greasy Spoon
The one where the jukebox plays the same tune.
I rushed to the loo because I felt ill, then I remembered
my birth control pill. I have forgotten to take it for days
on end, so now I've got my boyfriend to defend.
Mum said I was getting as thin as a rake, maybe her
eye sights bad and she has made a mistake.
When you first get pregnant do you start to lose weight,
Cor Blimey mate my heads in a state.
Can I spare the cash for a pregnancy test, I surpose I
better because my brain won't rest.
There's a queue at the chemist half a mile long because
there's a man up the front the size of King Kong.
If the shop was bigger the man could get out, what a
shame is so stout.Shops were not made for people like
him, cor I aint half glad I'me wafer thin.
My test is positive what do I do now, cry to my Dad like
a poor old cow. Life is for living so some people say and
Iv'e had my cake and ate it, now I'me to pay.
I will be a mother in less than six months and I'me kept
by the goverment and claiming the bunts.