(*when a young girl ventures out for her
first class in swimming she should briefed
on consequence of body baring as well
as likely presence of paedophiles) .
a young girl went for swimming class
changed in to her new suit, surprised
at her own form and size, the aura of
her bountiful beauty and freshness that
enchanted her, went in to a world of
dream, slipped in to pool like a princess,
coach in tow who stunned and amazed
at her form and fragrance held her soft
in water in his hands, spread wide.
suddenly it seemed water is hot and
boiling, quickly they moved to change
room, where he bared her nude, it
was her curiosity and his anxiety! .
- o0o -
- -
.
a gud one well try buddy.....bt somthing is missing.....i m also confused wat is missing.....bt overall......gud wrk
A good one in its content and in style, well.... a bit prosaic.
Your poem is a bit of a puzzle but here are my comment: 'A lesson in Swimming' seems to be a lesson of a young girl coming of age in the water of innocence- instead of curiosity- with a swimming teacher who knows the lesson well.This is the lesson I got from your poem. Moves from the hot waters to another room?
I've rated it 9 for the beautiful 1st stanza. The 2nd stanza however falls short of the mark, its unsubtle and the word Anxiety doesn't convey what you probably wanted to convey.
Wow, , , it's an amazing write and a great poem, , , wonderful emotions so real it's... Top marks! ! !
unpleasant experience; spoils the purity of swimminmg water - that bathes the body, lifts the heart to see the sky.. and maybe even dream. Swimming is more than just moving in water and splashing around, it is an elixir purifying our blocked sensations. The crude coach does not understand this...though
suddenly it seemed water is hot and boiling, quickly they moved to change room, where he bared her nude, it was her curiosity and his anxiety! .. it is transmission pure ly arrival of spring in her body and eqquall response.. lovelytgheme....10 read mine... i miss... miss i miss u
NOTE OF CONCERN: This poem is vilevoguish mindset of swimming teachers…and Sr. Poet Surya Sir explicitly narrated and expressed the agony and insult to femininity…what may stay stored in subconscious …and many give many psychical problems …later on…very much concerning…and poets are looking glass of society and reflect the blacks and whites as they’re …here ably done by poet.. In this poem often unnoticed area poet has reflected…be safe the parents and learners…, my humble concern echo with the poet Ms. Nivedita UK
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Fave line: 'suddenly it seemed water is hot and boiling'