A Mouse (Haiku) Poem by Ben Gieske

A Mouse (Haiku)

Rating: 3.6


moon shadow
the little gray mouse
edges toward the cheese

placed 5th in the December 2007 Shiki Monthly Kukai (free format)

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Estrella Baldemosa 29 June 2008

a good haiku...poet is not self -absorbed and discrete from the object, a real haiku...

1 0 Reply
Chris Mendros 25 May 2008

This is as good a 'ku as i've seen on here. What else is there in the mouse's world, but that cheese? Watch out for the- (SMACK!) ...

1 0 Reply
Duncan Wyllie 25 May 2008

MOUSEY PUT YOUR CRASH HELMET ON FIRST LOL! Thanks Ben Love duncan X

1 0 Reply
Eithne Queen of Celts 19 April 2008

It's the goal of every haiku, that of expressing a whole universe in a few short lines.I love this one.It made me feel in the shoes of the little mouse.There is no one to stop me from getting what i want (the cheese) .But is it moral, is it right to get the cheese?

0 0 Reply
Francis Duggan 06 January 2008

A beautiful haiku this one Ben well done

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Ramesh Rai 17 October 2014

This reflects the natural phenomenon of life. Nice.

0 0 Reply
Dr Hitesh Sheth 14 March 2009

In wintry night cat catch the crying mice is it tears or dew............... Good write........

2 0 Reply

Ben,5th place? -your haiku should have been in first place! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! a ten from me...

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Anjali Sinha 13 January 2009

wow a lovely haiku mouse edging to cheese -10 anjali (read mine too haikus of love)

1 0 Reply
Kesav Easwaran 30 October 2008

nice one..a 'koo'ing image on the moon and the cloudy spread...10

2 0 Reply
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