Akhtar Jawad

Gold Star - 99,764 Points (8-2-1945 / Gorakhpur)

A Promise - Poem by Akhtar Jawad

Time of parting is approaching, it's close,
eyes ready to snap for the heart your pose,
that's all I need, you have turned your face!
Come back sweetheart you know your place,
I know your hairs are silk and shining,
but the eyes with a red and wink lining!
what are you hiding are these your tears?
I don't understand your doubts and fears!
Turn, let me write a promise on your lips,
in the new world too, you'll have my sips,
a creeper of grapes, you'll drink its wine,
I am only for you and you are mine!

(Promise of a dying spouse)

Topic(s) of this poem: parting


Comments about A Promise by Akhtar Jawad

  • Bri Edwards (4/3/2017 4:28:00 PM)


    but the eyes with a red and wink lining! ...............i KNOW eyes often blink and sometimes they wink, .......
    .............................................................but do they ever pink? perhaps you meant pink lining? ?

    what are you hiding are these your tears? .....................DO YOU want to capitalize what. it is the start of
    ............................................a new sentence i believe.

    =================
    i don't understand the use of creeper, but perhaps it refers to a grape vine somehow.

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    CREEPER:


    creeper play
    noun creep·er \ˈkrē-pər
    Definition of creeper

    1
    : one that creeps: such as a: a creeping plant b: a bird (as of the family Certhiidae) that creeps about on trees or bushes searching for insects c: a creeping insect or reptile

    2
    : any of various devices used for creeping: such as a: a fixture with iron points worn on the shoe to prevent slipping b: a low wheeled platform for supporting the body when working under an automobile

    3
    : a usually one-piece garment for a child at the crawling age

    AND:


    creeper play
    noun creep·er \ˈkrē-pərDefinition of creeper for Students

    1
    : a person or animal that moves slowly, timidly, or quietly

    2
    : a small bird that creeps about trees and bushes in search of insects

    3
    : a plant (as ivy) that grows by spreading over a surface

    ===================================
    eyes ready to snap for the heart your pose, ........I THINK you are saying that the eyes (and brain) will snap/take a 'photo' of the person's pose, to be remembered. i like this!
    favorite line:

    Turn, let me write a promise on your lips, ...............using pen or pencil?

    I JUST NOTICED THE LAST LINE! it is very 'telling'.

    (Promise of a dying spouse) ...............thanks for helping me to understand the new world.

    bri :)

    to MyPoemList. and i'll put it into the April 2017's showcase, as is, BUT PLEASE let me know if i should change wink to pink. OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK?

    BRI :)

    Thanks.
    (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Valsa George (12/6/2015 11:01:00 PM)


    I am only for you and you are mine! .........

    This great avowal of love is enough to drown all miseries and doubts and turn tears of sorrow into tears of joy. A very touching write!
    (Report) Reply

  • Umar Hashmi (12/5/2015 10:46:00 PM)


    A touching poem................................................ (Report) Reply

  • The Poet Poet (12/5/2015 7:05:00 PM)


    I can imagine
    I just posted a similar one of mine
    but kisses i couldn't refine
    your poetry touches
    the heart Akhtar j
    (Report) Reply

  • Kelly Kurt (12/5/2015 12:41:00 PM)


    A lovely and sad poem, Akhtar. Thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Clarence Prince (12/5/2015 9:24:00 AM)


    Very encouraging, although it's sad too! (Report) Reply

  • Kumarmani Mahakul (12/5/2015 9:21:00 AM)


    Sorrow of separation from mind is well expressed and this is definitely a very beautiful poem shared here that turns mind to write more. Very fantastic sharing.10 (Report) Reply

  • Mohammed Asim Nehal (12/5/2015 9:19:00 AM)


    Heartfelt poem, very touchy.....10+++++ (Report) Reply

  • Shakil Ahmed (12/5/2015 9:12:00 AM)


    I am only for you and you are mine! - nice line expressing the essence of love, the poem has a sad tone but at the same time it has a message which is very positive, well written, thanks for sharing. (Report) Reply

  • (12/5/2015 8:56:00 AM)


    A sad but beautiful poem. Those who are walking their last steps could feel the love and promise of companionship that in near end. (Report) Reply

Read all 10 comments »



Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags


Poem Submitted: Saturday, December 5, 2015



[Report Error]