shiny shine

Rookie - 5 Points (akron)

Beach - Poem by shiny shine

As I walk along the deserted beach
I feel the damp sand surronding my feet
I feel the cool relaxing breeze creep up upon me with ease
As I look out at the restless waves my thoughts unwind like restless days
The beach is a very quiet and calming place

Comments about Beach by shiny shine

  • (5/15/2018 9:14:00 PM)

    Surrounding is spelt wrong (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • (4/14/2011 8:47:00 AM)

    I like the way you wrote the poem.One thought continuously perceiving the other thoughts aroused.Comparing the continuous flow of thoughts with continuous fluctuations and variations of sea water.Nice poem (Report) Reply

  • (1/17/2010 4:46:00 AM)

    good write well expresss.... (Report) Reply

  • (11/2/2009 9:05:00 AM)

    Captures the shoreline well. (Report) Reply

  • Howard 'the motivational poet' Simon (10/31/2009 10:21:00 PM)

    Very calm and serene. Inspiring tranquility. (Report) Reply

  • Allemagne Roßmann (8/11/2009 5:01:00 PM)

    Solitude and introspection going side by read my Flowers of Love
    and When i Think about you which has the similar impact.10 voted for you
    (Report) Reply

  • (8/10/2009 9:38:00 PM)

    true it is a moving and rhythimic place roaring load yet it gives peace we feel one with it...lovely short poem (Report) Reply

  • (7/29/2009 11:15:00 PM)

    That's a really good poem i like it (Report) Reply

  • Cat Tiger (7/24/2009 9:33:00 PM)

    There is a hint of ONOMATOPOEIA in your verse. 'The sand surrounding my feet' begs the lines 'and creeping up through my toes.' Creep, however, doesn't work with breeze and ease. Also 'surrounding' is misspelled. Nice effort though, for a girl of 17. ~Cat (Report) Reply

  • (7/18/2009 8:23:00 PM)

    Beautifully descriptive poem, brings back vivid memories quite well. (Report) Reply

  • (7/7/2009 7:37:00 PM)

    'as i look out at the restless waves my thoughts unwind like restless days' very very good line. short and sweet does it sometimes. great piece (Report) Reply

  • (7/2/2009 7:03:00 PM)

    This is my introduction to your work and it makes me want to go and read the others now! This concise little piece is nicely expressive and in one sense leaves the reader wanting more. But I feel that you are right to make it as short as you have, it adds to its effectiveness rather than detracting from it. (Report) Reply

  • C. P. Sharma (5/17/2009 10:06:00 PM)

    We all are in search of our beaches in desrts.
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/17/2009 10:02:00 PM)

    even though its short, you can tell the beauty of the beach... love it 10++ (Report) Reply

  • (5/8/2009 8:45:00 PM)

    I love it. It brings out the calm side of people... (Report) Reply

  • (8/20/2008 11:52:00 AM)

    very calming through my eyes
    such a delight to be in paradise
    in fears can be so tames
    and watch all your troubles
    float away in the waves

    a beautiful place in which you are or see please write more for me
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/19/2008 9:03:00 PM)

    this poem explains how people can make a place livley and happy
    when no one is at the beach it can be relaxing but when people r there it's very fun and exciting....
    (Report) Reply

  • ~A Little Blue Bird~ (4/14/2008 8:09:00 PM)

    wow that gives you a PERFECT picture in your mind! Niceeeeee! (Report) Reply

  • (4/14/2007 7:52:00 PM)

    'Shiny shine'... first of all your poet name is Kool! Second I love anything to do with water, lakes, beaches...waterfalls so I had to read your beach poem.
    Short and sweet! I could feel the sand beneath my feet and the lonliness of the beach...and yet I felt a calm and peace as the breeze blew by me...
    Thanx for sharing.I needed an escape and I enjoyed your imagery tremendously.
    Great job.please keep sharing.
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, February 1, 2007

Poem Edited: Friday, January 7, 2011

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