Conditional Poem by Seamus O' Brian
Conditional
If you knew who I was now
When I knew who you were then
Would you forgive me before
We ever became them?
If you gathered in the harvest—
Stacked and counted the bales
of our soul-searing pain,
Numbered the bushels
Of our flesh-scalding tears,
Compacted the silos
of loneliness, doubts, fears-
If you could have counted the cost,
Would you have sown the first seed?
If you factored in lies, betrayal, mistrust,
Could you ever have loved me
Before they became us?
Absolutely top-notch writing, Neal. I admit the farm terms got my attention, my positive attention. But it was the questions you posed that tangled my heart with barb wire. I just got buffeted with the most heart-breaking, heart-aching, sense of yearning that I have ever felt. This is Literature. The capital L kind. This goes on my list of favorite poems and it obviously gets top marks.
Thank you, Susan, you are so gracious. I suppose I am at the point of my life where I can look back with enough perspective to wish I could re-write certain aspects of the narrative. But life has taught me humility, and grace, and forgiveness, and the opportunity to see beauty arise out of the debris of my own mis-adventures. Thanks for reading, and for your kind encouragement. Be blessed! Neal :)
Haunting questions are raised in your poem. Do we really change that much over time? Or is love truly blind, preventing us from seeing faults and flaws, or recognizing them? Who knows. I believe the answers to your questions would be different for each circumstance. Some love is so strong, it can survive just about anything, better known as unconditional love. Whereas other love has certain requirements attached, and when they are not met, love cannot exist. But in every instance, there had to have been the initial spark, that special something that made us sit up and take notice. Then little by little, we see other qualities that please us, and like dried kindling, they make the fire flare up. If there is enough kindling, it will be hard to put out the flame, no matter what is thrown upon it. It may even be brought down to an ember, but it does not extinguish. It's strange when you think about love in this way. I guess there is not just one description for love - one size does not fit all. It is determined by the individuals involved. So only one person could answer your questions - only one. What a sobering poem, written so well.
You have expressed complex emotions in such beautiful manner ---A brilliant poem!
I thought this was a very nice piece of poetry and that I would like to have many more pieces like this. :)
Beautiful in hindsight (pun intended :)) . I feel like I have just been taken through some seriously dazzling mental acrobatics. Lovely read.
Seamus a wonderful write. If we were able to know in advance would we open the door? ++10
excellent conditional writing on the theme of life If you factored in lies, betrayal, mistrust, Could you ever have loved me Before they became us? 10++++
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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12/5/2025 3:03:40 AM # 1.0.0
I love how haunting this poem is. You have rich vocabulary and an ability to find magic in life's most common (if not agreeable) feelings. Excellent work.
Thank you, Marie, for your encouraging and generous thoughts. I am very pleased to have haunted you a little bit. Neal :)