Evening Walk Poem by Udaya R. Tennakoon
Evening Walk
Aimless mind slap bang
Coated out to spring
Dressed up, bear body hiding
Set out the old road along
The bus or the tram
Unless may be the train
To right or the left no plan
Time and space came
The side where I belonged to
The tram was on way from left to
Undecided space came think to
Opened the door just get into
Passengers were on seats
Passersby were in streets
Seemed to be direct targets
Looking at their end points
Planned and minded among
Blank and aimless I am
Getting down one by one
One and only in I am
Reverse way to the direction
Same as the tram to go again
Waiting for till times come
End or the beginning no aim
Passengers were on seats
Passersby were in streets
Driver is on the seat
I am also on my seat
All they know their aim
I don't have a plan
Left or the right same
Just for the pass time
The title suggests this will be a quiet, sedate poem about something as conventional as a routine exercise. Instead you give us a poem of alienation on several levels. First, the speaker has no reason to walk or take the tram: observing the world around him is not his goal; other people are there but there is no engagement. Second, there is the existential alienation of a person who does not fit comfortably in his home space. It stems from thinking about society or the world, finding both inadequate reflections of his humanity. Where does this leave the speaker? Actually, no where, at least not anywhere THIS POEM reveals. But I read this poem as a provisional statement about this city of refugees. There is no way such a city can replace the cities of one's homeland. The adopted city is rooted in its place in other people's hearts, not the refugee's heart.
Dear Daniel, much pleasure to read your thoughts and I am inspired by the last lines of yours he adopted city is rooted in its place in other people's hearts, not the refugee's heart. Thanks
I tried to comment once before, but PH got stuck. Congratulations on getting Poem of the Day. I saw your poem like a mirror and it's reflection. Similar- but reversed. On one side, the ability to walk aimless is a wonderful freeing experience...on the other, it could be alienation...separated from the rest of the world from which you walk around. I wrote sometime longer the first time, but it got lost! Again, congratulations on your expressive write.
Congratulations on Member Poem of the Day. I am a little late, but haven't been on PH in a while. I like the concept of your poem. The idea of passing time and having the freedom to do so while everyone else seems to have such purpose or responsibility is awesome. Well done. Take care.
What is this my friend? From the way readers have praised you here, I thought probably you have experimented with your poetry. But painful re-reading suggests that you have written nonsense. Try to improve your writing skills man. Don't be misled by the praise. They might even not have gone through your poem. Commenting for most of them is a daily ritual to improve their standing.
Lovely piece of poetry, well articulated and nicely brought forth in beautiful rhyme scheme with conviction. Thanks for sharing Udaya.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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3/28/2023 12:41:06 AM # 1.0.0.1112
a go with the flow poem very well written.
Thanks Dear Tom..