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Fast Food

Rating: 3.8
'Beauty was made from her eyes.
Soon they move, I fly into the skies.
Your charming eyes are my light.
When truely at night I lose my sight.
Without their lights the moon.
Would be darkish quite soon.
Wherever I see your eyes.
My heart stops his soul cries.
When I stray and go away.
By your eyes I find my way.
Your eyes'beauty feeds all.
Nature, human still their soul'.
'With every motion of your lip.
My heartbeats, they will whip.
Watching them when in touch.
Inner love grows, oh! so much'.
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COMMENTS
Saadat Tahir 04 July 2009
observant...converse in the delicate itsy bitsy of love language hiding behind a huge cheese burger very nice liked the following remarks too Ben Gieske (5/9/2009 9: 12: 00 AM) Fast FOOd - your title is interesting. I imagine the OO as possibly being two open mouths ready to eat the fast food, or two wide-open eyes filled with wonder, or one of them being the moon. cheers
3 2 Reply
Absent Wryta 10 May 2009
This is a lovely poem, quite an intense love. A nicely composed piece, pleasure to read
2 2 Reply
Ben Gieske 09 May 2009
Fast FOOd - your title is interesting. I imagine the OO as possibly being two open mouths ready to eat the fast food, or two wide-open eyes filled with wonder, or one of them being the moon.
2 2 Reply
soso Khan 07 May 2009
it was great i loved it alot 10++
0 1 Reply
Ruth Walters 06 May 2009
The sentiment is very romantic and seems to depict the first rush of love. Do you want a proper critique of the poem as a poem or just on the meaning of the verse? Ruth
0 1 Reply
T S 06 May 2009
A very romantic write...10/10
0 1 Reply
Slade Oriley 06 May 2009
It looks like somebody has been bitten by the love bug. (lol) I like it. I can tell you put alot of thought into it and it's very creative. Great Job. :)
0 1 Reply
Lynda Robson 06 May 2009
A lighthearted love poem, well written by you, 10 Lynda xx
0 1 Reply
Naseer Ahmed Nasir 06 May 2009
One can starve for such beautiful delicious eyes. A wonderful yummy yummy poem.......10/10. Best Wishes Naseer
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Fay Slimm 06 May 2009
Catchy title which, leading into quite a surprise subject afterwards, gives an air of extra care to this poem - - rhyming good and flow, although interrupted by irregular metre, is still most pleasant...... a warm and honest write and 10 from Fay..
0 1 Reply

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