A life without hope is a dismal existence
try as hard as you might, it's just futile persistence
Drab days far out number the bright days
dark clouds forever block out the sun rays
blue jays are chased away by death-loving vultures
I am unable to enjoy humanities customs and cultures
Sad, sorry solitude
frivolously feigning fortitude
daring to deviate
from pain that won't alleviate
That this will never end is my greatest fear
hoping for a pill that will make my pain disappear
Please all constructive criticism is welcome because I am a novice in poetry writing
I like the honesty, vulnerability and transperency that this poem implores with in a powerful way. The fact that these dark words are able to be presented gives credence to the idea that hope for a more meanigful and joyous existence is not unfounded. Good writing.
A poem with confession and asking for help how to fight fear..great I wish you may find out! !
Good poem. The message is well delivered. Pls keep writing
Good thoughts, well expressed. That you can always benefit from well-meaning assessment is the mark of a good writer. The next step is to read good poetry. Read mine - Brush Strokes - Adeline
Write comment. Such a nice start, John Sander. Read my poem, Love and Iust. Thanks
A very intense poem, searching for a way to alleviate inner pain and fear, a stark reality penetrating mind and heart, looking for a quick fix known not to exist. A very compelling and honest portrayal and depiction of one of life's hardest feelings/thoughts to deal with, the futility of a hopeless existence. Great write, I give you a 10. Thank you for sharing, RoseAnn
I don't consider myself an expert on writing poetry so I don't usually comment in that regard, but I think you could tighten it up a bit.
I like the articulation and insight of the poem. The only pill here is Faith - which is acting on what one believes in. NO FAITH NO MIRACLE. Thanks for sharing.please read my poem MANDELA - THE IMMORTAL ICON.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Maybe that pill just lies deep within our hearts. A good poem.