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Sunday, November 3, 2013

Heart And Soul Revised

Rating: 4.4
A heart can break without a sound.
A tear can fall to hit the ground.
No one standing near can tell.
There's not a sign to break the spell.
A soul can shatter separate.
still leave the body standing straight.
The outer shell can smile and talk.
While the soul is on its lonely walk.

Bereft of light and peace it flies
Its quest to reach towards the sky.
Blackness holds it fast in space.
Forever locked in time and place.
Just one touch of human hand
can raise that soul to reach for light
Then mend the heart its hope revive.
To lift its wing's to give it flight

A rescued soul is unconfined.
No chains can hold it fast.
It flies towards the heavens.
Then comes falling back to earth
Cascading down it twinkles,
like a thousand shining stars.
It steals its light from heavens brim
then walks it round the world.

When the human heart has hope renewed
its flight makes angels weep
It overcomes each earthly task.
Its promises to keep.
The path it follows straight and true
Its destiny to meet.
Its sighs can reach to heaven,
When love is what it seeks.
Noreen Carden
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
Sometimes we all need someone to carry us when we cant fly
I edited this on John Browns advice he felt it needed another verse but i went a bit further than that please do let me know what you think
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
COMMENTS
Francie Lynch 29 December 2017
Very nice, indeed. Love the imagery, diction and work you put into this.
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Seamus O Brian 15 November 2016
How easily a heart can be broken. And how much healing can be found in the compassionate words, the kind actions of another heart. Beautiful imagery, such lucid writing. The cadence of the rhythm and the gentleness of the rhyme only accentuate the beauty of this piece. Well done! Bravo! NB :)
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Hazel Durham 01 December 2014
Outstanding write Noreen with inspired lines bursting with such beauty about how lonely people can feel but when somebody reaches out to them it gives them hope for a better future! Congratulations on your stunning poem been selected as poem of the day!
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Kim Barney 01 December 2014
I didn't see your poem before John Brown's advice, but I'm guessing that it had only two verses at that time. The first verse has the rhyme scheme AA, BB, CC, DD. The second verse is AA (almost) , BB, CD, ED. Third verse: no rhymes (not necessarily a bad thing; it still flows beautifully) Fourth verse: AB, CB, then lines 6 and 8 assonance only. Very well written; I enjoyed it very much.
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Kim Barney 01 December 2014
I didn't see your poem before John Brown's advice, but I'm guessing that it had only two verses at that time. The first verse has the rhyme scheme AA, BB, CC, DD. The second verse is AA (almost) , BB, CD, ED. Third verse: no rhymes (not necessarily a bad thing; it still flows beautifully) Fourth verse: AB, CB, then lines 6 and 8 assonance only. Very well written; I enjoyed it very much.
0 1 Reply
Seamus O Brian 01 December 2014
While the soul is on its lonely walk It steals its light from heavens brim Its flight makes angels weep Lyrical imagery that is just beautiful. Thank you!
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Galina Italyanskaya 01 December 2014
Hello, Noreen! Your poem sounds up-lifting. And truly said, hope is that force which raises a soul up to the sky, but only faith can keep it there from falling.
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Daniel Brick 01 December 2014
Hi Noreen We have been out of touch since last May when I posted two comments on this poem. I just re-read them and they say everything that I can say in words abougt the imapact of your poem. Let me just add since last May I have composed four love poems, and previously I had composed zero love poems. So I read this poem with a newe consciousness of the importance of love poems to keep our hearts open, perceptive and receptive
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Achill Lad 14 October 2014
A beautiful poem Noreen. An exquisite description of loneliness and the heartbreak it brings. Then the uplifting experience of knowing that someone cares and understands. A very special piece of poetry from what must be a very special person, so much feeling here.
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Daniel Brick 16 May 2014
I came back to this poem because I earlier found its strength of expression and purpose so energizing. I just finished reading your homage to the uncle killed in WWII and I'm feeling the overall sadness that comes with confronting lives that are finished, events that are intractable, feelings that have no future - all these losses pile up in our minds EVEN THOUGH they are not necessarily personal. But your poem gives me such faith in hearts and souls that the sadness will soon be replaced by HOPE - and that is the special gift HEART AND SOUL holds out to us every time we read it.
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