When, as often happens, my wife suggest I should move.....out,
my superior mental faculties prepare for the needed “don’t-remove” bout.
Since it was ME who campaigned for marriage, .....against HER weak resistance,
it’s up to me to guard against dissolution, without it seeming to be “insistence”.
“I doubt that you still love me, not to mention like me” she may say.
Then I use a proven combination of charm-and-force, to bring her back my way.
It may not seem fair to you female readers....that I have such awesome power.
But it works every time and cost me less......than the price...of a flower.
To nip her protests in the bud and straighten out her mind, .....
I first raise my voice to drown out her own; don’t think me too unkind.
And when she has stopped whining and listens up, I turn on the Big-Bri-Charm.
I simply remind her of how grand a guy I am, and how I keep HER from harm.
I show her how what she THOUGHT-was-true, ....IS not even close,
AND, if a speck of truth IS there, each complaint of hers is an exaggeration, gross.
I tell her that “of course I love” her! Why else would I have stuck around?
AND that, though she sometimes is a pain in my ass, my good feelings for her DO abound.
If I sense that she’s not buying my act, hook-line-and-sinker,
I pause, oh-so-momentarily, to with my mental faculties tinker.
A little adjustment here-and-there usually does the trick, BUT.....
if it doesn’t work, THEN I beg for forgiveness on my knees, and admit I’m just a prick.
(February 4,2014)
hahaha what a piece it turned to be... how graciously you've humiliated the FAIR SEX and proven masculine CHARM like a snake of Eden mesmerising EVE, Fun but not funny and the Capitalisation works superbly, great work Bri
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Hi Bri well I have to say this is hilarious you better hope she never reads this or you will be a dead man walking Well done Bri as always you make me smile