Ernestine Northover

Veteran Poet - 1,353 Points (25th March 1943)

Just What I Desired - Poem by Ernestine Northover

'House for Sale'. is what the notice said,
I looked at it, then the name, I read,
The telephone number I noted as well,
I thought I might give them an early bell,
And find out what price it was they'd set,
And if it was possible, that I could get,
This place for a reasonably low outlay,
I'd better sort this venture out right away,
Cos this was the house that I desired,
As I stood there, and so much admired,
The neat front door, the windows tall,
The clematis growing along the wall,
This would suit me well, it's really fine,
Excitement shivered right down my spine.

Then just as I turned and made to leave,
A van drew up, and I had to grieve,
For on the notice board in letters bold,
They nailed the horrid word, that stated 'SOLD! '

© Ernestine Northover


Comments about Just What I Desired by Ernestine Northover

  • Andrew Blakemore (6/30/2008 2:19:00 PM)


    I t seems you have about as much luck as myself Ernestine. A lovely poem, top marks. Love, Andrew x (Report) Reply

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  • (4/13/2006 9:05:00 AM)


    Technically speaking it is the heart and soul of a poem that matters and not the technical speaking. Brilliantly done the new occupants were not the only ones who have been moved here, Love Duncan (Report) Reply

  • (4/11/2006 4:02:00 PM)


    Words well spoken; to fall in love and be heart-broken. My sympathies! - chuck (Report) Reply

  • (4/7/2006 9:29:00 PM)


    Ernestine... Below I copied and pasted your poem and made some editorial suggestions I would personally employ. These are only my opinions and need not be used if you feel differently.

    dan


    'House for Sale'(.) is what the notice said, (I would eliminate the '.')
    I looked at it, then the name, I read,
    The telephone number I noted as well,
    I thought I might give them an early bell,
    And find out (just what) price it was they'd set, (I'd replace 'just what' with 'the')
    And if it was possible, then I could get,
    This place for a reasonably low outlay,
    I'd better sort this venture right away,
    Cos this was (just) the house that I desired, (I'd eliminate 'just')
    As I stood there(,) and so much admired, (I don't think you need the comma)
    The neat front (door, the porch) and windows tall, (door; porch)
    The clematis growing (wild) along the wall, (I'd remove 'wild')
    This would (just) suit me well, it's really fine, (I'd remove 'just')
    Excitement shivered up and down my spine.

    Then just as I turned and was about to leave,
    A van drew up(,) and (now I) had to grieve, (I would lose the comma and reverse 'now I' to 'I now')
    For on the notice board in letters bold,
    They nailed (a horrid word, it) stated 'SOLD! ' ('the horrid word that ')

    Ernestine Northover
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/6/2006 7:29:00 PM)


    'The best laid plans of mice and men are often gone astray, ' said the poet, and how true to life that is - just when we have our plans all made, Pow, Alice, right in the kisser. Ha, good write! ! (Report) Reply

  • Brian Dorn (4/6/2006 3:41:00 PM)


    That's life, ... so often what we desire isn't meant to be.
    Brian
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 6, 2006

Poem Edited: Sunday, January 6, 2008


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