Mermaid On The Loose Poem by Belle Wassermeister

She swims in from the salty sea;
she's tired of living there.
She wants to see some human sights;
she'll travel anywhere.

She knows that she should not be seen,
so she comes out at night,
and flounders up the sandy beach
while staying out of sight.

A Jeep is parked there in the sand,
two lovers making love,
oblivious to all around,
beneath the stars above.

The key is left there in the Jeep;
What an amazing chance!
She climbs aboard and fires it up
without a backward glance.

The lovers from their blanket rise
with murmurs of dismay
as mermaid makes off with their ride
and takes their clothes away!

The mermaid stops two miles away
and dons the poor guy's shirt.
Her torso now is covered up,
as is most of the dirt.

[Part two]

The mermaid puts the Jeep in gear
and cruises through the town.
Attention she tries to avoid,
so she keeps the speed down.

She passes Sunset Boulevard,
and then Rodeo Drive.
The wind is whipping through her hair,
and she feels so alive!

On Mermaid TV she has seen
this city and its sights,
and she is thrilled with everything,
the people and the lights.

But now some people start to stare,
and she feels far from home.
Her hair is flying everywhere;
she's never owned a comb.

A cop car starts to follow her;
she doesn't see the need,
but panic starts to fill her soul,
and she picks up her speed.

Then she remembers one small fact:
she's in a stolen car!
She guns the engine totally,
but she won't get too far.

She takes a left on Avalon,
then fishtails right on Main,
then finds herself a bit confused
and heading for a train!

The mermaid loses all control
and slams into the rail.
It's hard to work both gas and brake
with one big floppy tail.

[Part 3]

The mermaid wakes up in a daze;
she cannot see a thing.
There's something bound around her eyes;
her left arm's in a sling.

A handcuff's on her other wrist,
a rope around her waist.
Another rope around her tail,
and in her mouth a taste

of blood. Thus her adventure ends
in pitiful disgrace,
her body shackled to a bed,
a veil upon her face.

'Are you awake now? ' Suddenly
a gentle voice she hears.
She had been feeling so alone;
it's music to her ears.

'Why can't I see a single thing?
Why is my head bound tight? '
'Your head was damaged, and the doc's
concerned about your sight.'

'You're also in a special place,
top-secret as could be,
and there are things, some awful things,
that you should never see.'

'I've seen some awful things before, '
the mermaid sadly sighs.
'A great white shark ate both my parents
right before my eyes.'

Please, can't you take this blindfold off? '
the mermaid gives her plea.
'All right, but don't you be surprised
at anything you see.'

The first thing that the mermaid sees:
a tiny metal cage.
A puny wrinkled man inside
seems of an advanced age.

He has a hat and coat of green
and stifles a huge yawn.
A sign above the little cage
says 'Irish Leprechaun'.

In other cages round about
are little bluish men.
They struggle and try to get out,
and then sit down again.

They do not speak a word to her,
but she hears in her head:
'You'll never get away, poor girl;
they'll keep you ‘til you're dead! '

On down the hall, she hears a scream
as never heard before.
It starts out as an eerie wail,
and ends more like a roar.

An ape-like creature shakes the bars
‘til it seems they might break.
She'd heard of Sasquatch many times,
but thought he was just fake.

A sign caught her attention then,
and to it her head spun:
First Military Hospital,
Area Fifty-One.

[Part 4]

Later that night, the mermaid feels
a tap upon her arm.
She struggles to become awake,
with feelings of alarm.

The leprechaun is standing there,
a prisoner no more.
She looks down at his little cage;
it has an open door.

'How'd you escape? ' she has to ask.
'Just how did you get free? '
'You've heard of Houdini? ' he smiles.
'He has nothing on me.'

'We leprechauns are known a bit
for magic we can do,
but I am old and did not care,
at least ‘til I saw you.'

'Your kind should not be captive here;
the whole world needs to see
the beauty you were born to bear;
What say we get you free? '

The leprechaun unties her ropes,
then with his puny fist
he somehow works his magic charm;
the cuff falls off her wrist.

The men in blue communicate
as it comes off her arm:
'If you do not release us, too,
we're sounding the alarm.'

Then Sasquatch, watching from his cage,
starts pointing to his chest,
and soon the ape-man's also free
along with all the rest.

Sasquatch picks up the mermaid then,
as if she were a doll,
and they start creeping to the door
along the concrete wall.

The door has opened just a crack;
a siren starts to sound.
The blue men vanish in the night,
as with a single bound.

[Part 5]

The ape-man runs with lightning speed
and puts her in the seat
of a black car that's sitting there;
she wishes she had feet!

Ten other cars are there as well,
which makes the ape-man frown.
With little effort, so it seems,
he turns them upside down!

The guards are getting closer now;
the ape's done all he could.
He throws a car toward the guards,
then he is gone for good.

There is no key, but Leprechaun
just fiddles with some wires.
The car starts up, and they take off,
with squealing of the tires.

Out in the desert speeds the car
on darkest of dark nights.
They can't see where they're going, but
they run without their lights.

A helicopter's sound is heard
somewhere up in the sky,
but gets lost in the distance as
the miles go flying by.

At last they come upon a town,
which they're about to pass,
but all at once they realize
they're almost out of gas.

They pull the car up to a pump
(and this is almost funny) .
What in the world will they do next?
They haven't any money!

But Leprechaun runs in the store
as quick as any rocket,
and in a flash is back again;
he's picked somebody's pocket!

So with a 'borrowed' credit card,
the gas tank now is full.
Mermaid's adventure still goes on;
it never has been dull.

The ocean is a welcome sight
for mermaid and her 'crew'.
With tears and laughter they embrace,
and then they bid 'adieu'.

And now at last the time has come
to honor Bri's requests:
The mermaid's home, bare-chested now,
and on a rock she rests.