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Picture This

Rating: 5.0
i picture stepping outside in the frosty air
the wind cracks my face like sidewalk cement
on the other side of the street there's a pale man
begging for coins under the light that shines above him
next to a woman wrapped in a torn cloth with the look
of desperation in her icy blue eyes i quickly turn to walk
away with that image sealed inside my mind

i picture being that little girl whose mother
is so strung out and willing to give up anything
for a rock even the apartment which led
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COMMENTS
Madeline Berry 24 February 2009
Quite relevent to the world issues. I would reccomend a look over for gramatical errors but overall good job
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Little Morning Star 29 January 2009
wonderful poem.. no more word to be said.
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Abraham De La Torrre 20 January 2009
first things being first, the grammar/misspelling nits: too many to count; excruciating; cigarette; prisoner of (not to): situations do (not does) and, by the same token, them (not it): they've been (not they been) through): put it (not them) referring to piece): as (not a) strong as): and different (double 'f') . having survived my critical eye, you deserve a doff of my hat to your empathy. not because your relating to the visuals you saw and, therefore, repainted before your reader are borne on your very own past, which is a thankful present, but that you wish on the people you feel for your very same perspective. and that's as good as having changed yourself. it was up to you, it is now up to them. the question is: are they equal to your task? maybe if you keep writing they will be. so go, girl.
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Khadijah Tate 20 January 2009
This is A Beautiful Poem!
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Argenis Hernandez 20 January 2009
Very extraordinary writing. You really know how to exploit your plume like a human exploits land to make vast crop lands and beautiful rose bushes. Amazingly done.
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Rory Sixx 20 January 2009
Wow.10/10. It's a shame stuff like this actually occurs.
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Linda Moore 20 January 2009
You are very sensitive to the suffering, it shows in your poem. There are things in life that are so sad, things we see are forever etched in our memory and are recalled vividly. We must balance the Sad and the Happy things of Life. Wonderful writing, heartfelt.....10
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Reshma Ramesh 20 January 2009
yeah......it is a terrible world we live in..........nice write dear....well penned
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C.R. Clark 20 January 2009
A very moving write indeed, Breeze. It is truly sad that this kind of evil takes place in our world. Your last verse hold out the hope for recovery. I am often amazed at the ability of the human psyche to recover from the gravest of situations. Thanks for a wonderful read. Richard
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Let us pray for a better world....your poem is very touching.
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