Bitten by a love bug,
My heart swells with oedema
My love, like gnawing anxiety,
Burdens me
Like a knotty noose,
Stifles me
Like a watch dog,
Follows me
Like an inalienable shadow,
Always with me!
When I turn around,
It is right behind!
It lingers in me
Like a lovely metaphor
Like the intoxicating smell
Of the first summer rain
In my world there are only two of us;
You and I
Where ever I go,
The world wears your face.
A face I have never seen!
I don’t know where you are
In which alien shore you dwell
Yet I write this message,
In secret code
Pouring out my longings,
My unuttered love,
My invisible desires,
Into this scroll of paper
In cursive, indelible ink
I seal it in a bottle
With no address on
And let it drift over the currents
It is meant for the one
Who finds it
And thinks it is for him
If you feel, it is not for you,
Please don’t throw it as garbage;
Kindly put it back,
And let my love vessel float,
Over eddies and currents
Because my soul is encased within!
Just know this much;
It is from a lovely lass!
“oedema” …..in u.s. I would use “edema”. But, you are still in India, right! ? :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “Like an inalienable shadow, Always with me! When I turn around, It is right behind! It lingers in me “ “Even though “inalienable” is mentioned in the U.S. of A.’s Declaration of Independence, I thought I’d better look it up, using Google; thanks Google! My teacher may have wanted us to memorize part of the D of A, but she did not require us to know what it means! in•al•ien•a•ble inˈālēənəb(ə) l/ adjective adjective: inalienable 1. unable to be taken away from or given away by the possessor. freedom of religion, the most inalienable of all human rights synonyms: inviolable, absolute, sacrosanct; untransferable, nontransferable, nonnegotiable; indefeasible that principle is an essential, inalienable part of having ownership My favorite stanza: “Bitten by a love bug, My heart swells with oedema My love, like gnawing anxiety, Burdens me Like a knotty noose, Stifles me Like a watch dog, Follows me” - - - - - - - - - “ “Just know this much; It is from a lovely lass! ” …………..i got a little chuckle out of these lines. So it was from YOU! ? The bottle and note, I mean. But I found several added sentences on your note paper. Apparently several others had found and read the note and tossed it back into the water, knowing full well it was not for THEM, but for ME! ! ! Thanks. bri :) To MyPoemList, even though it is kind of a kind of ‘love poem’! Valsa, you are a BIG TEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Bri :) Even though this is a key word in America's Declaratioin in·al·ien·a·ble inˈālēənəb(ə) l/ adjective adjective: inalienable unable to be taken away from or given away by the possessor. freedom of religion, the most inalienable of all human rights synonyms: inviolable, absolute, sacrosanct; More untransferable, nontransferable, nonnegotiable; indefeasible that principle is an essential, inalienable part of having ownership - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To Bri... the heartless cheat! ..... but then how come I didn’t get a reply despite my waiting I thought the bottle was still sailing, Sloshed by the tidal waves rising, Heartless you were not to see me pining Why didn’t you think, I would be crying? ? ? ? Really had a hearty laugh over your comment....!
Now, let me make a make a few points. on the length of response to feed1. Whenever a poet uses personal pronouns, they are not always to be taken literally. 2. Neat picking words in a poem, what a laughable thing! 3. These red and green colour indicators, earlier are they removed the better, to me totally meaningless, the way they are interpreted. 4. Restrictionsback/comments. Is it not applicable to some?
First of all magnificent write, a poem with a rare beauty, and I agree with the accolades given to it by the poets here.
Poems are bottled messages, it strays around until it is picked up by the right person, who would understand.You might get tired of reading all the good comments about all your poems.. Your words are very well chosen and it really makes me feel like those age old days in school when I had read those fantastic poets - wizards of words.Great write..10++
It is always a pleasure receiving a good comment as this! Never tired of it! Also feel the pleasure of finding my message being picked up by the right person! Thanks a lot friend!
Oh! What a fantastic expression you have made dear madam. Really it has come out from your core of heart. Let me quote some lines from your poem...... Yet I write this message, In secret code Pouring out my longings, My unuttered love, My invisible desires, Into this scroll of paper In cursive, indelible ink I seal it in a bottle With no address on And let it drift over the currents Top ten. Thanks.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Only a love so deep would make a person move to the point of addressing a love letter so profound, put it in a bottle and let it flow over the currents that moves it over the oceans until it rests in the hands of someone that awaits the love that that is so freely given. Lucky one he is that receives it. An inspiring write.
This is indeed an excellent critique on the poem of an extra-ordinary value. Thanks.