Self Worth Poem by Kewayne Wadley

Some say it's the root of all evil,
Pocket sized leaflets flown in the wind
Swaying from the forbidden tree.
Reprised as a means of reputation.
Power, Lust.
I remember the friends I use to have.
I loved them dearly.
Traveling a two way street that soon ventured to a dead end.
We were premature, wild and young.
So much has transpired, venting to the smile found at the bottom of an empty liquor bottle.
Was I subtle, drowning in a puddle of memories.
Answering every beckoned call, spending insane amounts of money
sufficing the smile I fell in love with so long ago.
No one seems to focus on what's in front of them.
The sorrow of betrayal shown by smiling faces.
Soon to be replaced by a single thought of self.
Remembrance of that one time that lead to plenty.
Everyone seems to remember you when they need something.
I hated myself for a long time,
Failed relationships, lost friends. Family I haven't talked to in fear that
I'm not the person they remember.
That one smile that brings comfort
Often hiding talents to blend in with those I hung around with.
Pretending everything was okay when clearly it wasn't.
Leaving pieces of themselves behind although they are long gone.
I often wrote about love,
Trying to relive the moments I grew so far a part from.
The surreal fantasy that abandons me then revisits me at night.
The times spent alone scribbling in my notepad.
The Demons that come to me at night
Reminding me who I use to be.
Every word I've uttered, The feelings left astray by some girl
That found worldly pleasures more inciting that being herself.
That blurred line between dreams and reality.
Often an insomniac that would give anything to get a good nights sleep.
A constant change of the channel, reliving memories past in high definition.
Sometimes I question.
Who am I.
Am I him, Am I her.
Self doubt in an equal opportune moment of honesty.
Sometimes I question myself.
Who is that looking back at me in the mirror.
I remember you