Sonnet: Upstream Poem by Brian Mayo

Sonnet: Upstream

Rating: 5.0


Like salmon we, against the current, strive
We seek a path to virtue that's direct
The few remaining steadfast will survive
To earn the peace that comes with self-respect.

For others, destiny is less-defined
Tidal forces tug them to the shallows
And once upon the rocks they stay resigned
Unaware stagnation is their gallows.

Our sins remain alive within the soul
Spawning knots impossible to worry
A steady drip of guilt will take its toll
Conscience, in the end, plays judge and jury.

There's no escaping actions of the past
Forgiveness of the self, too much to ask.

Saturday, March 12, 2016
Topic(s) of this poem: fate,forgiveness
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Pamela Sinicrope 13 March 2016

I read this the minute you posted it....but have waited to comment. This is the first sonnet of yours I have read. I think this might be my favorite. Its serious, well-written, conforms to the 'rules, ' but gives a fresh face to the sonnet as well with the choice of subject....not the idea of religion and faith and self-respect, but of salmon. To me, this gives the poem an American flair, which I like. You do a nice job of carrying the imagery through to the end through the elegant word choice and the volta: 'for others destiny is less defined.' You carry through to the end the explanation of your theme with beautifully appointed lines and meter. The poem ends on a bit of a sad note....that some things are not forgiveable.... I really loves this poem, Brian. Well done on all counts. Its a write that can stick in the mind and make one think about the meaning of life, of religion, of faith, of consequences and choices, and fish (he he) . It doesn't matter the form, though you took on that challenge well.

2 0 Reply
Simone Inez Harriman 12 March 2016

A profound analytical write. Forgiveness of oneself may be desperately desired although perhaps unachievable when the conscience holds to ransom.10

1 0 Reply
Kelly Kurt 12 March 2016

Very poignant and relatable. Everything starts and ends with the self. Without self love, respect, confidence and forgiveness; one is useless to everyone

1 0 Reply
Brian Mayo 12 March 2016

Well, almost useless. I can still write poems. ;)

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Brian Mayo

Brian Mayo

Grand Rapids Michigan
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