Brian Mayo

Gold Star - 12,347 Points (1960)

The Poem That Almost Wasn't - Poem by Brian Mayo


First, let me start by saying I was never that fond of poetry.
I know, I know- -I AM a poem…
Look, I didn’t ask to be a poem.
Hell, I wanted to be an auto repair manual
but that’s not the way things turned-out.

You might say I had a rather inauspicious beginning.
I was born at a diner just north of Winnipeg.
A waitress found me in a bus-tub- -scrawled on a lightly-used napkin.

It was obvious I had been abandoned by my father, a man I only knew for a few brief moments…
I can still feel the anger that flowed from his fingertips as he pressed them against me.
He pinned me to the tabletop and had his way with me. He was very rough and tore me in several places with a stubby golf-pencil.
Let’s just say I was happy to see him go. (He left a lousy tip, btw…)

It wasn’t long after that I found myself swept-off the table and into a stinky plastic bin filled with dirty dishes and half-eaten omelets. I was pretty sure I was done-for when suddenly I felt myself lifted and lovingly smoothed against a warm, skirt-covered thigh. It was the waitress! - -The same waitress I’d made eye-contact with earlier as I was being horribly abused in section 5. She came back to rescue me! I stared adoringly into her soft, warm eyes as she held me and giggled in the most delightful way. Then she carefully folded me and stuck me in her purse. It was hot in there, but I nestled up against a cool tin of Sucrets and soon fell fast asleep.

There I waited for the next chapter in my life to be written. I didn't have to wait long…
Her boyfriend blew his nose on me later that night, and tossed me from the window of a Ford Focus.
I hit the pavement lightly and rolled several feet, amazed that I was still alive when a gust of wind sent me straight into an open sewer grate. I fell a short distance and landed in some slimy mud.
Look, I know it’s sad… but a rat found me almost immediately and took me to her nest, where I remained quite comfortable and warm.

I died two months later during a rough birthing procedure, but here I am, on the internet!
How did it happen? I don’t know, but I feel different- -cleaner, for sure. Maybe I grew up a little, too…

Please, if you see my waitress tell her I forgive her, and miss her terribly.

A. Poem.

Topic(s) of this poem: autobiography

Form: Free Verse

Comments about The Poem That Almost Wasn't by Brian Mayo

  • Souren Mondal (3/6/2016 11:12:00 PM)

    A brilliant one Brian.. You have written a simply extraordinary poem.. Thanks. (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Mike Smith (3/6/2016 11:10:00 PM)

    A 10 for sure. Between the off-the-wall creative content, the effortless humor, and the talented and imaginative storytelling this poem deserves its cemented place on the web. (An infinite improvement from its former sewery residence (Report) Reply

  • (2/2/2016 10:34:00 PM)

    Wow Brian, I love creative writes such as these. An incredibly interesting perspective....10 (Report) Reply

  • Wes Vogler (11/28/2015 11:02:00 PM)

    I want to say it doesn't matter if he is an auto repair manual cause he is still going to wind up a poem. all he has to do to become a poem is go on the P......(heh heh) oh, hi Brian nice poem how about an 8? (Report) Reply

  • Pamela Sinicrope (10/25/2015 8:14:00 PM)

    Autobiography! LOVE THIS! Where is part two? Where r u? Can we rescue you? Are you in full form on the Internet or did pieces of you get left behind... Changed in any way? ? (Report) Reply

  • Paul Brookes (10/23/2015 2:34:00 AM)

    Very clever write. Loved the narrative which leads thereader into the poems world. My favourite line was 'Look, I didn’t ask to be a poem.
    Hell, I wanted to be an auto repair manual' Impressive poem Thanks for an enjoyable read.
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/22/2015 10:14:00 PM)

    Never read anything like this. I say it in a most favorable way.
    Entertaining and heart warming.
    A fantastic narration so well accomplished you can hear and follow this poem-napkin as if you were listening and watching a film!
    You're a fantastic writer and director.
    Sincerest congratulation for this very excellent and amusing work.
    (Report) Reply

    Brian Mayo (10/23/2015 12:55:00 AM)

    Now that's a review I won't be blowing my nose on. Much thanks, Sandra.

Read all 8 comments »

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

Poem Submitted: Thursday, October 22, 2015

[Report Error]