Special Delivery Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

Forever writing to deliver a message and its not always of good tidings. Its to drain out every emotion so i don't lose it. Anger inwards does nothing for the mind body or soul. Got to stay in control. Just swallow it down. Write every verse, even if its in reverse. Backwards its drips out of my head. From all the deaths to times i need to confess to my happiness. Anxiety drives me into states of a constant ambition to travel the unknown. The dangers of chancing what you don't have to spare. Wishing to be alone. So seditary in my ways. Pretending I'm okay. Being stronger then my ghost. Forgetting the pain. Playing a dangerous game. Trying to stay sane. Wishing people wouldn't complain about the frivolous an unimportant. sometimes it doesn't matter, and i don't care. Then i see just more despair. And i wonder what should i do. How should i proceed. Wanting all to succeed. But knowing that isn't how it works. Disturbed by the limitation of life. Saying f*ck it and turning all away with the cruelest indifference some have ever seen. Wish for my own death. But too proud to take my own life. An oxymoron with true meaning. So deep, so serious are the secrets i keep. Each one makes it worse than the first. Not truly understanding why i should. But still i do to protect you. Wisdom is not gained in years but the pain felt from the time that has pasted. The suicide of love with evil intent and malcontent. An empty heart wants it to always to be true. And that gives them the opportunity to lie to you. It so easy. A couple slips of the tongue then its done. Did you have any fun. What was your gain, what was you loss. Did you buy it. Did you survive it. Did you end it. Who was really in control. So many question will always be left unanswered.