Success Poem by Naila Rais
Success
There are many things that are kept unsaid
There are sorrows that are dead
Many more new thoughts that comes to mind
Of lunatic phase of whatever kind.
Heavenly shadows hovering over my mind
Tis memories which are bind
Deadly sparks shining so bright
Soul calling are you all right?
There are ups and downs in life
There are times to play the fife
All you need to sit and smile
Success is waiting for you at a mile! !
" Many more new thoughts that comes in mind" i'd use " .e to mind" or " ..e into my mind" st.2 to keep mind/bind rhyme, i'd use " do bind" [or did you mean " blind" ? ? ] And " shining" , not shinning. Last stanza is 'alright', but perhaps you reached too much for rhymes? I think a poet's drive to rhyme sometimes makes the poem less strong. bri ;)
Yes success is not far for those who try and strive hard.5* There are ups and downs in life There are times to play the fife All you need to sit and smile Success is waiting for you at a mile! !
Very positive poem. Need to face the ups and down of life with a smile.
Beautifully penned. There are ups and downs in life There are times to play the fife All you need to sit and smile Success is waiting for you at a mile! ! . Good synopsis.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/7/2024 8:24:56 AM # 1.0.0.1119
new thoughts that comes in mind thnx thoughts do come to mind after along tyme
Welcome sir! ! ....glad to hear your words. Thank you for visiting. NR