Diane Hine

Silver Star - 4,143 Points (25 July 1956)

Tanka: Fashion Victim

Poem by Diane Hine

A plucky cockroach
is lanced by mishappenstance;
shrieks skewer the night
pitched by girls on stilted heels
with loose hair and braided toes.

Form: tanka

Comments about Tanka: Fashion Victim by Diane Hine

  • Brian JohnstonBrian Johnston (7/30/2014 10:48:00 AM)

    So this is a tanka? Wow two extra lines of 7 syllables is a lot of extra information. But I do have questions. The cockroach dies right? Why do you suppose girls shriek and guys don't? Is that cultural or genetic? And finally what on earth are braided toes? Is that some new Aussie trend? Honestly it's so hard to keep up with fashion! : -)

    And oh yes, I liked it. Especially the image of the poor girl pulling the cockroach off of her spiked heel. Very visceral!(Report)Reply

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  • Valerie DohrenValerie Dohren (6/12/2014 2:57:00 PM)

    Very novel Diane - don't think much of the musical accompaniment though! ! ! (courtesy of PH of course) .(Report)Reply

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  • Valsa GeorgeValsa George (6/10/2014 4:16:00 AM)

    Poor coakroach.... being lanced by the stilts of fashinonable girls! What a mishappenstance! This brings a chuckle!
    Interesting Tanka!(Report)Reply

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  • Daniel BrickDaniel Brick (6/3/2014 11:33:00 PM)

    THOSE girls with their loose hair and braided toes (huh?) - I could never get close to any of them. How do you - if you're a callow young man - start a conversation with a girl who looks like a model and acts like a goddess? . It's hopeless - go home and read Dostoyevsky. I'm warning you - if you stay another minute, one of them will crush you like a cockroach! Ahhh...(Report)Reply

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  • Winter (6/1/2014 12:18:00 AM)

    Cute and clever and very funny :)(Report)Reply

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  • Lyn PaulLyn Paul (5/22/2014 11:57:00 PM)

    With this title it was not what I expected. How scared with are of the cleanest creature.love your humour always Diane. Thank you(Report)Reply

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  • Kevin PatrickKevin Patrick (5/19/2014 5:03:00 PM)

    Poor Cockroach, A gory end for one of natures revoltingly maligned neonates, beauty might be on the inside, but its appeal is on the outside which saves it from being squashed. I couldn't help get a smile from this, I'll be careful where I step next time(Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, May 11, 2014

Poem Edited: Monday, May 12, 2014