Teddy Wished To Be Betty....[ ' Anatomical Gender ' Vs. ' Mental Gender '; Who Shall Decide One's Gender Role(S) ? ] Poem by Bri Edwards

TEDDY WISHED TO BE BETTY....[ ' Anatomical Gender ' Vs. ' Mental Gender ';
Who Shall Decide One's Gender Role(s) ? , 'You' or 'her, him, or ' Other ' '? ]


Part One: Bri's Poem Introduction

I DON'T LIKE MY POEM'S TITLE, BUT I like the story I'm telling! !

[ At first my title mentioned 'preference(s) ', but now I've changed that to 'role(s) ':
ROLE: 'the function assumed or part played by a person or thing in a particular situation.
Example of usage: 'she greeted us all in her various roles of mother, friend, and daughter',

I use 'Gender Role' to indicate the set of characteristics which may signal to observers that
a person is 'assuming the role/set of activities and feelings 'usually' associated with a sexual
gender, in other words (i.e.) with......; you, the reader, can decide what I, Bri Edwards, mean! ]

[[ WELL, ...I just read AGAIN the above attempt at explaining what the heck my
poem's title is talking about. And I believe I've failed to explain myself and my
poem's subject(s) well. So, with an 'open mind' (yours) , I'd appreciate it if ANYONE decides to read 'the story' I've concocted/made up/created below. Thanks! to my Readers! !

I'm reading a novel now about a 'real person', a black woman, who was born into slavery [her mother was a slave when 'Josephine' was born in 1856].
After slavery was abolished/ended in the United States in the 1860's, she did NOT limit herself to the 'traditional' roles women had had: a homemaker, a baby-maker, and a wife who didn't own property. Josephine DID become a wife and a mother, but she also became a barber, a business owner, a landowner, and homeowner. I haven't finished the history-based novel...yet: 'Carolina Built', by Kianna Alexander. ]]


'The Story'

I, Bri, born in 1948, thought 'gay' just meant 'happy', till I went to college.
There I learned a belief in the 'Bible' was NOT universal, AND other 'knowledge',
AND I learned college was 'NOT for me', though it DID 'open my two eyes'.
There I learned that 'gay' sometimes meant something ELSE, to my surprise!

NOW it's widely-known that the gender on a birth certificate may NOT 'feel right'....
to the person whose certificate it is AND that person, as she/he/they matures,
may become 'uptight' **.


My poem is a tale of how I feel Teddy, one such 'gender-identity-contradicted person',
....[[ a LGBTQ+ *** person ]].....may live.
If you, Readers, have ANY COMMENT(s) about this, my poem, PRO or CON, feel free, your comment(s) , to give.



[[ Some definitions ]]

** UPTIGHT:
'The meaning of UPTIGHT is being tense, nervous, or uneasy'

*** LGBTQ+
......is an abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, asexual, and more.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Part Two: TEDDY et al..........From Birth to Age 8


On 'Teddy's', aka 'Theodore's', birth certificate 'MALE' was his gender. That used to seem pretty clear.
But 'these days', for many but not for all, SOME may read 'their' gender classification and SNEER **.

For Teddy, like for most American boys [[including myself ]], his parent(s)
thought of him, sexually, as a 'BOY'.
Little did his parent(s) ever imagine that what the hospital typed in 1951 would
someday, Teddy, annoy.

He was channeled as most boys were then, dressed in pants NOT dresses as
his sister Roberta was.
Some Christmas gifts for Teddy were a model train set and a toy gun, delivered by... 'Santa Claus', (of course!) .

AND Roberta aka 'Birdie' had DOLLS!

Hell, Teddy had dolls also, one a male Eskimo he bought at the Ontario County Fair.
It had, .....hidden under its faux***-reindeer-hide and faux***-fur-lined parka, .....long shiny black hair.
And a second doll, a female Indian aka 'Native American' squaw, Ted bought at the New York State Fair.
His 'squaw' cost $1.75 and left Teddy...[his eyes on pink 'cotton candy']...with two dimes and one nickel to spare.

He put his dolls in a cloth-lined cigar box, but he thought they would only sleep.
He had peeked under their faux*** hide, fur, and buckskin, but their anatomical
'secrets' they did keep.


[[ A definition ]]

** SNEER: (used as a noun)
'A sneer is a facial expression of scorn or disgust characterized by a slight raising of one corner of the upper lip, known also as curling the lip or turning
up the nose.'

*** FAUX: (adjective)
'made in imitation; artificial'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part Three: Teddy et al from Age 9 to Age 14


When 'Teddy' was 9 and went to Tony Alvaro, his family barber, 'Tony' gave him
a 'brush cut' *****.
IF Tony had given Teddy 'bangs' ##, his parents would have thought Tony was a 'nut' ###.

Five years later, at age fourteen, Teddy was in 9th grade & had a beard.
[ Ok! Not quite a 'real beard', but 'Hey, Whiskers' Teddy sometimes heard...
himself called by classmates Dave W. & David S., friends at Mercy Jr. High.
'Twas better I guess than another name they used: 'Shitlicker'. Shitlicker? ! !
.......Sigh! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Ted's parents bought him an electric razor; they didn't want him to cut off a lip,
OR part of his nose, ...just in case a 'safety razor''.......did SLIP! !


By then Teddy had HAD 'The Talk', from his mother, a nurse, an 'LPN', about
'You-Know-What'!

NO! ! Not about school homework, nor fighting with brother Tom. Guess........
'SEX' instead! !
She seemed concerned. She told Teddy to promise to NOT get 'anyone' (aka
a 'girl') pregnant unless he & she were wed.
Yes, he'd JUST HAD 'The Talk' (mostly instruction & some pencil illustrations)
from his 'Mom'.
Yet Teddy didn't have any REAL accurate concept about 'intercourse', even by
the time of his first dance [[ at his Jr. Prom ]]! !


[[ Some definitions ]]

***** BRUSH CUT:
'A brush cut is a type of haircut in which the hair on the top of the head is cut short in every dimension. The top and the upper portion of the back and sides are cut the same length, generally between 1⁄4 and 1⁄2 inch (6 and 13 mm) , following the contour of the head.'

## BANGS:
'NORTH AMERICAN
a fringe of hair cut straight across the forehead'
[ Bri's Note: 'Bangs, when I was growing up, were for 'GIRLS'! ! ! ]

### NUT [ slang ]:
If someone calls you a nut, or describes you as nuts or nutty, they think you're crazy or wacky.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Part 4: Teddy et al..........age 15 to 22


[[ Readers: I am using 'et al' to refer to anyone or anything
who/which contributes to Teddy's development as he grows older. ]]

So, Ted had passed the point of PUBERTY **. He could now
reproduce (see 'puberty' below) .
But he still was not comfortable with what he was supposed
to do. He decided to 'take it slow'.

Some of his male friends (and some girls) sensed that he was
unsure of himself, 'on the fence'***.
He did NOT want to ask his mom or dad. The thought of it
made him very tense.

He'd heard plenty of stories, here and there, and watched others,
of all ages, as they interacted around him.
But his future was clouded. With each passing year he felt more sure
that his chance of ever 'fitting in****' was slim.


[[ Some definitions ]]:

** PUBERTY:
'pu·ber·ty
/ˈpyo͞obərdē/
noun
the period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become
capable of reproduction

*** ON THE FENCE:
'not able to decide something'

**** FITTING IN:
'being socially compatible with other members of a group'

---------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------


Part 5: Teddy et al.....age 23 to 30

It was the 70's and 80's, & eventually the U.S. had left Vietnam.
Teddy avoided the military draft, and college campuses were
relatively calm.
Well, more calm than when I left college, taking little 'knowledge'
............with ME.
Out of college by now, Ted had not yet experienced having sex,
even though, for some, sex could be had for 'FREE'!

He'd majored in [aka 'concentrated on learning'] Engineering,
Electrical Engineering to be more specific.
But by the time he'd gotten his M.S. degree in Engineering, about
his degree, he'd NOT felt terrific.
He was 'at loose ends**' about his future, including a job, his social relationships, and where to live.
He asked his grandfather, and a 'shrink' ***, and a Unitarian minister,
but none chose advice to give.

So Ted pushed forward 'on his own', found an entry-level job at an
obscure electrical engineering firm.
His pay was not great, but his expenses were low and he felt 'safe',
....though he felt somewhat like a WORM.
He felt his life might become drudgery****. And it soon did, like a worm's,
passing dirt through its gut for nourishment.
Theodore pushed his pencil, tapped his keyboard, and drank coffee.
From nothing & no one did he get encouragement.: (

He'd give that job 6 months, and he began to visit a local bar. Actually, he
lived above it: 'Greenwich Gay & Straight Saloon'.
There he met some nice people, easy to talk to. With them he sipped beer
[not TOO much]; he didn't wish to act like a buffoon ##!
Ted became (not-close) friends with some of the 'nice ones' & had one
'sort of' ### date with a female attorney.
At home he watched baseball. He read novels, some romances & some
mysteries, wondering if he'd ever have a 'romantic journey'.

He only went to GG&SS about 3 evenings each week. He became some-
what friendly with 2 bartenders and Brad, the owner.
Speaking to them and others there made him slowly feel not so much like
a 'loner' ####.
As his 'engineering job' dragged on, Ted decided to go to 'night school' to
learn to be a bartender, just in case....
If he quit the 'E' job, he knew he'd have to find employment in a different
place, with a more comfortable pace ^^.

Ted excelled in his bartender training, and he had confidence and enthusiasm
to try his 'luck' at finding a job tending a bar.
A month after his training ended he decided he'd start looking for a job nearby;
he didn't want to have to travel too far.
He lived in a Big City with public transportation, but that wasn't always
convenient & he didn't trust his car.
He asked Brad [ the 'owner' ] for his advice, and Brad was happy to give it, as he lit up a cigar.

He registered with a temporary-work agency, got some experience working, mixing & serving drinks, at soirées ^^^.
He gave notice to the EE company that he'd be resigning soon. His boss
preferred having Ted LEAVE, not STAY.
Ted had saved some money. He knew he wouldn't starve. But he remained
uncertain of his life, especially regarding 'dating'.
He wished SOMETHING or someone would come into his life and 'save him' from an existence he sometimes was hating.

Brad sometimes offered Ted part time work, filling in as a bartender at the
GG&SS bar.
It worked well for both of them when Ted was available, and Ted was slowly
becoming a big bartender-success: a 'star'.
His soirée jobs came more frequently, especially when he began to work for a second agency, which sent him to unfamiliar locations.
He found his budget was well-balanced, even allowing him to take some short nearby mid-week 'vacations'.


Nearly thirty years old, and 'feeling it', he STILL had no 'life partner' &
THAT sometimes still bothered him.



[[ Some definitions ]]:

** AT LOOSE ENDS:
idiom
[ in the U.S. ]: 'not knowing what to do: not having anything in particular to do'

*** SHRINK (slang noun) :
' a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional who conducts psychotherapy.

**** DRUDGERY:
'hard monotonous routine work'

## BUFFOON:
'One who acts in a silly or ridiculous fashion; a clown or fool'

### SORT OF:
phrase of sort
INFORMAL
to some extent; in some way or other (used to convey inexactness or vagueness) .'

#### LONER:
'a person who prefers not to associate with others'

^^ PACE:
'the speed at which someone or something moves, or with which something happens or changes'

^^^ soirée: (pronounced: swäˈrā [ I think it is a French word ])
noun 'an evening party or gathering, typically in a private house,
for conversation or music.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


[[ TO BE CONTINUED....I THINK. ]]

brian
:)