[[ my note added on March...22nd...2018 ]]:i have a sequel poem, My Inglish Sucks - 2.
It may be found using this link on PH:
/poem/my-inglish-sucks-2-english-skills-humor-beware-the-words-short-requested-sequel/
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[ my original 2014 notes ]:
WARNING! ! ! ! ! THERE ARE A LOT OF 'ENGLISH (including spelling) MISTAKES' IN MY POEM.
i was challenged by my PH friend Kanav Justa (whose 'english' i sometimes 'correct') to write a poem entitled 'My English Sucks'.he also said something about using incorrect grammar.WELL, WHAT IS GRAMMAR? ?i read the following Wikipedia article fromand still don't know if i understand what grammar is in its totality.[how's THAT for a word: 'totality'! ? ]
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GRAMMMAR:
'The term grammar is often used by non-linguists with a very broad meaning. As Jeremy Butterfield puts it, 'Grammar is often a generic way of referring to any aspect of English that people object to.'[1] However, linguists use it in a much more specific sense. Speakers of a language have a set of internalised rules[2] for using that language. This is a grammar, and the vast majority of the information in it is acquired—at least in the case of one's native language—not by conscious study or instruction, but by observing other speakers; much of this work is done during infancy. Learning a language later in life usually involves a greater degree of explicit instruction.[3]
The term 'grammar' can also be used to describe the rules that govern the linguistic behaviour of a group of speakers. The term 'English grammar, ' therefore, may have several meanings. It may refer to the whole of English grammar—that is, to the grammars of all the speakers of the language—in which case, the term encompasses a great deal of variation.[4] Alternatively, it may refer only to what is common to the grammars of all, or of the vast majority of English speakers (such as subject-verb-object word order in simple declarative sentences) . Or it may refer to the rules of a particular, relatively well-defined variety of English (such as Standard English) .'
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SO SOME OF MY WRITING MAY BE POOR GRAMMAR.I KNOW SOME OF IT IS POOR SPELLING.I HAVE NOT CAPITALIZED THE WORD 'english'.i have left out some apostrophes. generally i have paid attention to the rules of capitalization and punctuation as i know them.SORRY KANAV if this poem is not 'sucky' enough.
THERE ARE SO MANY 'MISTAKES' that i won't bother to point all of them out now.if i receive a request from a reader who leaves a decent (meaning more than ten words) comment i may go to the trouble to spell out all of my errors.
i will point out just a few things which i mean to be 'poor english'.
1the use of 'done' as in 'a day done come'.usually i would write 'a day came'.
2some use of 'were' as in 'my best were enough'.usually i would write 'my best was enough/good enough'.
3i want to point out more, but i 'have to' move on........
bri:)
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Bri Edwards
Bri Edwards
(some time ago / Earth, i believe)
Poems by Bri Edwards : 192 / 343
My English Sucks …..[english ('poor') : Almost Medium Length; Education And Life; Ph- Inspired] - Poem by Bri Edwards
When I were schooled english wernt my thing.
My scores in English lurning no bells done ring.
Yea I grajaded but ain't english smart ….no lie!
Come end a school year the teach said 'By Bri.'
Was same in bilogy, math, jografy all that stuff.
I done did my best and guess my best were enough.
I did done grate at ball games and in trak run the mile.
I was a THREEletter man and made them girls smile.
I got payed for pumpin gas an turned 18 served my Nation.
For 'Bravry Under Fire' in the NAM I were town sensation.
Back home, all tired, I done gone back to the gas station …..
and worked evry week I culd with no vacasion.
One thing lurned what done good for me was fixin cars.
I worked with shirt of to show of my many NAM scars.
A day done come I met a girl from my dreams.
We got now three kids and life is good it seams.
I think my English done even proved a litle bit ….
but if it don't I don't' mind cuz I is happy an don't give no shit.
(August 29,2014)
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Please read my 2018 addition to my Poet's Notes. There is a sequel to the poem you just read. :) bri
Topic(s) of this poem: humorous, life, family life
Poems by Bri Edwards : 192 / 343
Poet's Notes about The Poem
Comments about My English Sucks …..[english ('poor') : Almost Medium Length; Education And Life; Ph- Inspired] by Bri Edwards
Read this poem in other languages
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem »
Poem Submitted: Friday, August 29, 2014
Poem Edited: Thursday, March 22, 2018
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Loved the poem! Humour and wisdom together! (Report)Reply
Fantastic poem.. very beautiful...with nice diction... thanks (Report)Reply
Nice poem, fell in loved with it. You really talked about the way education is and it advantages.
I really enjoyed it. (Report)Reply
I read your poem again. I am convinced -it is excellent.you served your nation; you pumped gas; you are proud of it. I appreciate your sincerity. Who cares for grammar and spelling-they are not important in life.The poem itself is very enjoyable. regards (Report)Reply
A day done come I met a girl from my dreams.
I guess it was your best day (Report)Reply
A clever and humourous piece of writing, I enjoyed it Bri! (Report)Reply
Doesn't matter - your poems conveys the sense - by Bri! - and funnily enough. Congrats for a lovely poem! (Report)Reply
Error: Please read as: I have been reading.. (Report)Reply
I am reading this piece of work time and again. However, I have not yet been able to count number of mistakes. I gave this passage to my students to do it for me (to count number of mistakes) but varied opinion came from my students.....some said, it is '9'...some said '12' and some dull students replied, 'Sir, there is no mistake in this passage'. Please tell me how many mistakes you have put deliberately! This is only known to you! Please answer through the reply option.....Dillip (Report)Reply
Bri's answer: ABOUT 46 'MISTAKES':
STANZA 1: ELEVEN (11) : were; english; wernt; lurning; done; Yea; grajaded; english; a; teach; By
STANZA 2: TEN (10) : Was; bilogy; jografy; done did; were; did done; grate; trak; run; them;
STANZA 3: NINE (9) : payed; pumpin; an; Bravry; were; done gone; evry; culd; vacasion
STANZA 4: EIGHT (8) : lurned; what done; fixin; of; of; done come; got; seams;
STANZA 5: EIGHT (8) : done even; proved; little; don’t’; cuz; is; an; give no+
I wonder how long you took to make your English so perfect! You must have been working on it for long! However this poem has all the qualifications to be included in the syllabus of the undergraduates to teach them the correct grammar, spelling and syntax and an award is on the way of Bri- the unquestioned Master of English Language! Birth more poems of this kind to enrich this global language! (Report)Reply
my PH friend, Valentin, ...[ i DO have more than one PH friend btw! ] leaves several comments, AND he says he has translated my poem into Russian and put it into PH.
one of his comments says: 'feces is a new word for me' ...well, i do use the word sh++t at the end of the poem, though i think PH has now decided to NOT ALLOW us to use 'such words' in poems....CAN WE SPELL CENSORSHIP! ! ! ? I DON'T SEE that i used feces (the word) in the poem OR my Poet's Notes.
Bri :) (Report)Reply
Bri,
I'm nearly certain it was not used in your poems or in your Poet's Notes. Probably it transpired from our personal correspondence. I do not remember that I've ever put it down somewhere here. Let us be careful and abide to the censorship! Ha-ha-ha... :)
Bri, you saw and commented on my translation. I appreciated it. Censorship is not that much strict here in Russia. With 18+ one may write whatever one wishes. Even obscene words. The only reprimand is just a warning that this or that word is not used in literature and is not recommended in further writing. Some people obuse it and do whatever they wish. I do object to doing that and try to be more or less polite. :)
Well done, I liked the poem and translated it into Russian. I'll show just part of it, as I admitted no more than 300 characters. For the rest of it, please turn to my page. I hope you'll 'decrypt it.
Бриан Эдвардс
Маи английские ашипки
Мне в школи было ни до языка.
Я весь урок сидел и ждал званка.
Я Инглиш сдал с трудом едва на три.
Училка мне сказала: «бай-бай Бри! »... (Report)Reply
Well done, I liked the poem, and inspired by your english poor, decided to translate it and publish into Russian in my page here on PH. I'll show just part of it, as I admitted no more than 300 characters. For the rest of it, please turn to my page.
Бриан Эдвардс
Маи английские ашипки
Мне в школи было ни до языка.
Я весь урок сидел и ждал званка.
Я Инглиш сдал с трудом едва на три.
Училка мне сказала: «бай-бай Бри! »... (Report)Reply
Revisiting the poem.
Hi, Bri!
I'll try to edit my previous comment of your (english poor) with my own poor inglish. I hope it became better. :)
In infansi I sport did done.
And nobody culd stop mi run
I'm ulso knew THREEwords well
An usd tem as much as.
I did done serv the ARMY too
And Sinse then much water flu.
An now I wit me gran kids sit
And am happy an giv no. (Report)Reply
The last line should be:
And am happy an giv no.
Revisiting this fascinating poem.
A one of a kind piece of work that gives
laughter, humor and meaningful message.
Brilliantly penned. (Report)Reply
i just sent this to you in a message:
Rose Marie,
GEE! I did't MEAN to do..............ALL 'THAT'! ! ! !
bri ;) i used my brilliant pen! i have a PH poem entitled
History Of The Pen ….. [history Of Writing Instrument(S) And Ink; Semi-True; Almost Long] submitted: 2/17/2016
it's Almost Long, but you are welcome to read it. :)
OI that is a rude word (Report)Reply
I like that Bri, cuz it makes the world laugh! Thank you for such (Suck of English) LOL! (Report)Reply
Prayad - Brian,
i suppose the WHOLE WORLD is NOT LAUGHING! BUT, if YOU ARE, i'm satisfied! ! ;) bri
I missed one word at the end of the foloowing line:
An usd tem of ten much as. (Report)Reply
the missing word is. But yours is heaven, I hope... :)))
perhaps the 'missing word' is the name of my future home for eternity? ? ? ;) :)
A very good and intricate poem, especially for foreigners, like myself.
Let me try to be in your shoes.
I sim ander stand wat you say
An try to fallow your way.
You did done yr own best.
I’ll have tu scrape mi chest.
In infansi I sport did done.
And Nobody culd stop mi run
I ulso knew THREEletter well
An usd them of ten much as.
I did done serv the ARMY too
And Sinse than money water flu.
An nou I wit me gran kids sit
And am happy an giv no. (Report)Reply
Bri, You are quite right the PH moderators deleted and. I did type them. They are afraid that I'll teach you and PH members some bad words. HA-HA-HA! ! !
If you do not mind it I'll post my last version of the comment in my pages in Facebook, as well as in the Russian Stihi.py (Poems.ru) ? I'll write that I was inspired by the poet Bri Edwards from Eureka California, USA
Val
Valentin,
i especially like ander stand wat. keep up the good work. i've already sent you a lengthy response to your poem, the version in which you do NOT leave off the all-important 'last word' [the word which is famously-used to refer to feces, and for other purposes.] ha ha. bri ;)
A poem becomes poem when it edifies the readers specially. In that sense, reading this poem is a new experience for me. Thank you dear poet for sharing a poem of different taste.
Chandan (Report)Reply
Feces is a new word to me. Thanks! :)))
Chandan,
you are welcome, kind sir. ;) i have numerous poems of different lengths, colors, AND tastes,
including mango, chocolate, and vanilla. help yourself. bri :)