Preetam Shetty

The First Moon

Amidst the shadow of night,
It came like a boon,
Two pairs of excited eyes,
Gazing at their first moon.

In the start there was a shy,
And a pinch of unknown fear,
Both hearts were pounding,
The moment seemed queer.

Soon came the touch,
Accompanied by cold shiver,
Silence in the environ echoed,
Chuckle of a flowing river.

Eyes were still shut,
As a lip tasted the lip,
The bodies soon curled,
Each others grip.

Desires were unbearable,
Ecstasy was getting higher,
Boundaries got diminished,
So did the earthly attire.

The aroma of dripping sweat,
Aroused the scent of air,
Moans sounded soothing music,
Experience was rare.

Landscapes were explored,
Mysteries continued to reveal,
Emotion kept flooding,
Impossible to conceal.

Gradually the earths slumbered,
Inner souls began to unite,
Smilingly the moon slithered,
The dawn embraced the night.

Poem Submitted: Monday, June 7, 2010
Poem Edited: Monday, June 7, 2010

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6 total ratings
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Comments about The First Moon by Preetam Shetty

  • Bhavik Bamania (2/7/2011 8:59:00 PM)

    Really a heart touching poem..

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  • $hreya Roy (6/14/2010 10:11:00 AM)

    The beauty of sensuality has been very well crafted in the poem. Simple words, but wonderful expressions.10 on 10 to 'The First Moon'...

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  • Dylon Cain (6/13/2010 10:19:00 AM)

    Very interesting poem.

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  • Amrit Rathi (6/8/2010 7:37:00 AM)

    10+ by far this poem is your best.Everything is corresponding with beauty and emotions and sensations. You have really built up a lovely episode...Thanks for inviting.

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  • Queeny GonaQueeny Gona (6/7/2010 11:41:00 PM)

    You have well expressed the feelings through personification!

    Voted 10+

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  • Nazma Lucky (6/7/2010 9:41:00 PM)

    Well crafted. So much said without saying.

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  • Craig Mize (6/7/2010 7:02:00 PM)

    Kudakwashe Roak Mutama said it best it appealled to our imagination and had me begging for more. I wanted to know or better yet needed to know what was going to happen next. You are a great poet and this poem is a 10 hands down.

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  • Louie -Love & Peace- Levy (6/7/2010 5:39:00 PM)

    A romantic lyric, a lovely moon-lit 'Sexperience'
    Virgin lover's, first playful encounter

    'Moans Sounded Soothing Music'

    'Harmonious beats of two Hearts'/
    'Smilingly the moon slithered,
    The dawn embraced the night'

    Revealed;
    The Universal Romance of -
    'Love's Omnipresence'

    Note; Your work, Preetam is well expressed
    Less rhyme to distract the poet's own 'Beat'.

    Sensitive readers may then listen with 'Heart' and
    join in the Spectacular Orgasm.

    (As 'eye' have) :)

    Note; My early writing were all Rhyme and Lyrical like.
    I was advised by another poet I greatly admired
    to express with prose, spontaneously.
    Many rhymes then self generated without
    a delayed thought as to what's best

    Good Work,
    Excellent Metaphor
    Keep Writing!
    ...louie

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  • Anita Trivedi (6/7/2010 11:43:00 AM)

    Its beautiful........ something different to read. Great flow of words............

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  • Franklin Boyd Jr (6/7/2010 11:28:00 AM)

    a vivid description, really engaging. Throws the reader into the poem, which is the purpose of poetry.
    Good read, keep it up

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  • Gregory Pierre-jeromeGregory Pierre-jerome (6/7/2010 10:57:00 AM)

    this is nice and unique and very cool in images

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  • Kudakwashe Roak Mutama (6/7/2010 10:29:00 AM)

    images are painted in our minds all the way to the end of the poem.........

    i liked how you made it difficult for the reader to deduce that it's not just about 'the first moon' but about what happens at the time of the first moon....

    well expressed! ! ! ! !

    keep it up! ! ! ! ! !

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  • Kudakwashe Roak Mutama (6/7/2010 10:26:00 AM)

    it really appeals to our sense of imagination and visuals are painted in our minds all the way...........

    well expressed and well set ideas! ! ! ! ! ! !

    a 10 with no doubt....

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  • Kolawole Ajao (6/7/2010 10:18:00 AM)

    Nice poem. Kindly sing it out as a song or get a singer to do that, please.

    Thanks.

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  • Denise Bekker ~* The Sound *~ (6/7/2010 10:16:00 AM)

    Loved the romantic flow of the write. The mood was truly captured, and felt. Very enjoyable read.

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  • Elias Barcelona (6/7/2010 9:03:00 AM)

    amazing imagery icould basicilly see it happening in my head and it painted a very passionate pictures its a 10/10.

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  • Gita AshokGita Ashok (6/7/2010 8:25:00 AM)

    Beautiful use of imagery here. Nice write.

    The dawn embraced the night.

    This is the best line in the poem.

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  • Dr Tony BrahminDr Tony Brahmin (6/7/2010 8:02:00 AM)

    it is a very passionate poem..
    Gradually the earths slumbered,
    Inner souls began to unite,
    Smilingly the moon slithered,
    The dawn embraced the night.

    inner sould unite..... after the physical experience of passion. these words give the whole poem a heavenly touch. thank you for ur passion

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