David DeSantis

Rookie (01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

*the Fog - Poem by David DeSantis

Nights mist
around my eyes

very similar to the fog
we walked through.

God
I miss her,

and walks
once had meaning.

similar,
to a ship in a bottle,

like lungs under pressure.

I used to breath
with her,

when walks
had meaning.


Copyright (c) David DeSantis


Comments about *the Fog by David DeSantis

  • (10/3/2008 8:56:00 AM)

    very neat indeed........ (Report)Reply

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  • (9/8/2008 9:37:00 PM)

    I used to breath
    with her,

    David this happens to be the most remarkable of your works- It has an element of universality that would appeal everyone who has ever walked the tightrope of love
    (Report)Reply

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  • (9/8/2008 11:10:00 AM)

    when walks
    had meaning.
    ....................
    David, when walks
    had meaning. 10....
    Tsira
    (Report)Reply

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  • Sarah Abdullah (9/7/2008 1:50:00 PM)

    similar,
    to a ship in a bottle,

    like lungs under pressure.

    I loved how you describe the feeling here
    Thx alot for sharing ^_^
    (Report)Reply

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  • (9/4/2008 1:06:00 PM)

    The opening line hooked me immediately - a hauntingly beautiful yet heartachingly sad piece. The pain is tangible through these sparse yet potent lines. j x (Report)Reply

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  • (9/4/2008 9:32:00 AM)

    that was beautiful......loved it (Report)Reply

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  • (8/28/2008 11:59:00 PM)

    SIGH... may be time to spend some more time in the pouch with the other one.. and just tigger bounce along together with a while.. (Report)Reply

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  • Ency Bearis (8/26/2008 7:57:00 AM)

    lovely metaphor...excellent write...

    Ency Bearis
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  • (8/26/2008 7:50:00 AM)

    David I love this, it is excellent no fog in your brain my friend,

    10
    Lynda xx
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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Poem Edited: Friday, October 3, 2008


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