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The Old Dance

Rating: 5.0
In twilight days of half meals
We gathered weapons in, anger
Long stilled into vaporous ether
Whisked away unseen, a constant
Blown clear off these curled brows
For it had finally been enough
This unfathomable loss of us

The fighting of flesh, the torn minds
Ripping and flailing about of limbs, acts
Against greater odds, desperate thoughts
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COMMENTS
Not a member No 4 30 January 2007
A pervasive and intense sense of the futility of violence, physical and vocal/emotional, personal and beyond, positively drips from these extremely eloquent and sorrowful lines. Every line is superb, but the final lines of each stanza reach the highest peaks of poetic artistry. This is awesome Tailor!
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Will Barber 14 January 2007
The eloquence and terseness of this poem - just totally admirable. This just explodes off the screen. Kudos. - Will
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Anna Russell 15 November 2006
Wonderful use of language, every line packed with meaning. Hugs Anna xxx
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Melvina Germain 13 November 2006
Tailor this is of course an excellent poem. There must be another way to settle our differences without the constant fighting, physically and mentally, the horrific pain of families brought on by the loss of life of loved ones. This poem is one that should be read by all. Thankyou---Melvina
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Patrick Ladbrooke 08 November 2006
Excellent. Strong and deeply cutting, incisive lines and message. Powerplay. Patrick
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Will Barber 07 November 2006
Admiration for your eloquence - and hope that our fellow (however disturbing) citizens will heed this profound cry. Besides, it's simply very well-written. Craft devoted to truth. I admired this greatly. I try to keep my comments short. Lucky you! -Will
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Alison Cassidy 04 November 2006
I like your 'clumsy waltz' - and the lyrical narrative of this splendid poem with its lost youth and mindless battles and unrequitted ideals. There is angst and resignation and great charm in your words. love, Allie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Sean North 04 November 2006
mezmerizing like a little wooden flute, Tailor
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Scarlett Treat 04 November 2006
Both the fighting of flesh and torn minds...the physical vs mental. Great contrast of ideas and ideals here Tailor. Thanks.
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Duncan Wyllie 04 November 2006
A very strong series of points made here, if we are to battle for battles sake then all is lost to those that par-take, we must collectivly search for peace and join together in its cooling shade, Thankyou for sharing this...Love duncan X
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