Roald Dahl

(13 September 1916 – 23 November 1990 / Cardiff / Wales)

The Pig - Poem by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, 'By gum, I've got the answer! '
'They want my bacon slice by slice
'To sell at a tremendous price!
'They want my tender juicy chops
'To put in all the butcher's shops!
'They want my pork to make a roast
'And that's the part'll cost the most!
'They want my sausages in strings!
'They even want my chitterlings!
'The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
'That is the reason for my life! '
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great peace of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grisly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
'I had a fairly powerful hunch
'That he might have me for his lunch.
'And so, because I feared the worst,
'I thought I'd better eat him first.'

Comments about The Pig by Roald Dahl

  • (12/12/2018 3:24:00 PM)

    Now I know the meaning of life (Report) Reply

    3 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (11/20/2018 12:11:00 AM)

    I know pigs like my classmate (Report) Reply

  • (11/11/2018 3:51:00 AM)

    I think that poem is really good and that everyone should read it it’s the perfect poem I hope ur reading this Roald Dahl if ur not still it’s very funny to me ur a great poet🦄🦄🦄😉😉😉🙃🙃🙃😇😇😇. (Report) Reply

  • (11/11/2018 3:49:00 AM)

    I think that poem is really good and that everyone should read it it’s the perfect poem I hope ur reading this Roald Dahl if ur not still it’s very funny to me ur a great poet🦄🦄🦄😉😉😉🙃🙃🙃😇😇😇. (Report) Reply

  • (10/17/2018 10:58:00 PM)

    u a noob ye ye ye ey ey ye ye (Report) Reply

  • (10/15/2018 6:40:00 PM)

    trex trex bang beang bang bang bang bang (Report) Reply

  • (10/4/2018 2:08:00 PM)

    nit Nice but Cleverley pop mooooc (Report) Reply

  • (9/16/2018 9:08:00 AM)

    this poem is really funny and interesting I love Roald Dahls poems alot (Report) Reply

  • (9/5/2018 8:02:00 AM)

    This poem is trash, completely terrible (Report) Reply

  • (8/23/2018 7:53:00 PM)

    The Pig poem very nice Pig pig pig pig pig poem Good poem (Report) Reply

  • (8/19/2018 12:02:00 AM)

    I hate this poem. My teacher scolded me for speaking this pathetic poem .I want to kill Roald Dahl (Report) Reply

  • (8/18/2018 11:59:00 PM)

    Disgusting poem. It’s pathetic (Report) Reply

  • (7/19/2018 11:03:00 PM)

    Wow I got something out of this poem. What a story (Report) Reply

  • (7/10/2018 2:25:00 AM)

    I love this i have to perform it in front of my class and say it of by heart.🤗 (Report) Reply

  • (7/4/2018 7:00:00 AM)

    I love this poem (Report) Reply

  • (6/8/2018 1:28:00 AM)

    hello i am a unicorn with rainbows. (Report) Reply

  • (6/4/2018 2:27:00 PM)

    This poem was very nice and the writer is very marvelous OMG I like this poem (Report) Reply

  • (5/19/2018 1:35:00 PM)

    ive been using this poem for loads of homeworks across different subjects its just tooooo good to find a different poem to replace it (Report) Reply

  • (5/7/2018 10:33:00 AM)

    (Report) Reply

  • (5/4/2018 12:31:00 PM)

    I love this poem. it is so funny (Report) Reply

Read all 95 comments »

# 38 poem on top 500 Poems

User Rating:
4,1 / 5 ( 342 votes ) 92

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Read poems about / on: birth, smile, light, shopping, fear, work

Poem Submitted: Thursday, January 1, 2004

Poem Edited: Saturday, March 25, 2017

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