Roald Dahl

Roald Dahl Poems

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set -

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.

A woman who my mother knows
Came in and took off all her clothes.

Said I, not being very old,

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --

I guess you think you know this story.
You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,

As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma's door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw

As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives

Come with me and you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination

'Attention please! Attention please!
Don't dare to talk! Don't dare to sneeze!
Don't doze or daydream! Stay awake!
Your health, your very life's a ...

The animal I really dig,
Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever,

'My teacher wasn't half as nice as yours seems to be.
His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history.

Gooses, geeses
I want my geese to lay gold eggs for easter
At least a hundred a day
And by the way

I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me

'Dear friends, we surely all agree
There's almost nothing worse to see
Than some repulsive little bum

Hey diddle diddle
We're all on the fiddle
And never get up until noon.
We only take cash

I had a little nut-tree,
Nothing would it bear.
I searched in all its branches,
But not a nut was there.

'This famous wicked little tale
Should never have been put on sale
It is a mystery to me

'Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!
How long could we allow this beast
To gorge and guzzle, feed and feast
On every ...

'If you are old and have the shakes,
If all your bones are full of aches,
If you can hardly walk at all,

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The candy man, the candy man can

Roald Dahl Biography

Roald Dahl (1916-1990) was a British novelist, short-story writer, and children's author. He was born in Wales and grew up in England, where he attended boarding school and later worked for the Shell oil company before enlisting in the Royal Air Force during World War II. Dahl began his literary career as a writer of adult fiction, and his early work was known for its dark and macabre themes. However, he is perhaps best known for his children's books, which include such classics as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," "James and the Giant Peach," and "Matilda." Dahl's children's books are known for their whimsical and imaginative storytelling, their vivid characters, and their unique blend of humor and darkness. His work has been adapted into numerous films, stage productions, and other media, and it continues to be beloved by generations of readers around the world. In addition to his work as a writer, Dahl was also an accomplished screenwriter and television personality, and he was known for his wry wit and irreverent sense of humor. He was a lifelong advocate for children's literacy and education, and his legacy as a writer and cultural figure continues to inspire and entertain readers of all ages.

Early Life

Although his parents were Norwegian, he was born in Wales in 1916. Summer vacations were spent by the family on a small Norwegian island, swimming, fishing, and boating. When Roald's father died when he was four years old, his mother was left to plan the journey alone for herself and her six children. He was frequently homesick at school. All of the letters home were regulated by the headmaster at St. Peter's Prep School, and he had to wear a hideous school uniform [braces, waistcoat, hat, and lots of buttons, all black] at Repton Public School after that. The headmaster and the older boys, known as prefects, frequently disciplined the younger lads. Roald lays much emphasis on describing the school-beatups in his book. You could get beaten for small mistakes like leaving a football sock on the floor, for burning the prefect's toast at teatime or for forgetting to change into house-shoes at six o'clock. The most terrible beatings, however, were given by the headmaster himself, who was also a clergyman. He was so cruel, that he made a pause after each beat to smoke his pipe and talk about sins and wrongdoing, while the boy had to remain kneeling. After ten beats, the victim was told to wash away the blood first, before putting on the trousers. By the way, this headmaster became later the Archbishop of Canterbury. Roald Dahl kept telling himself, that if this was one of God's chosen men, there was something going very wrong about the whole business. After school, Roald Dahl didn't go to university, but applied for a job at the Shell company, because he was sure they would send him abroad. He was sent to East Africa, where he got the adventure he wanted: great heat, crocodiles, snakes and safaries. He lived in the jungle, learned to speak Swahili and suffered from malaria. When the second World War broke out, he went to Nairobi to join the Royal Air Force. He was a fighter pilot and shot down German planes and got shot down himself. After 6 months in hospital he flew again. In 1942, he went to Washington as Assistant Air Attaché. There, he started writing short stories. In 1943, he published his first children's book "The Gremlins " with Walt Disney and in 1945 his first book of short stories appeared in the US. His marriage with the actress Patricia Neal was unhappy. None of their kids survived, his wife suffered a stroke. When she regained consciousness, she could hardly read, count and talk. But Roald managed to nurse her back to health, so that she could act again. Nevertheless, he got divorced in 1983 and married Felicity Crosland. He recieved several awards, such as the Edgar Allan Poe Award. His collections of short stories have been translated into many languages and have been best-sellers all over the world. Among them are "Someone Like You ", "Sweet Mystery Of Life ", "Kiss Kiss " and "Roald Dahl's Book of Ghost Stories ". He wrote TV series like "Tales of the Unexpected " and the novel "My Uncle Oswald ". His books are mostly fantasy, and full of imagination. They are always a little cruel, but never without humour - a thrilling mixture of the grotesque and comic. A frequent motif is, that people are not, what they appear to be. Mary Maloney in "Lamb to the Slaughter ", for example, is not a friendly widow, but a clever murderess. In his stories, the background is perfectly worked out: details are very close to reality. Roald Dahl didn't only write books for grown-ups, but also for children, such as "James and the Giant Peach ", "Fantastic Mr. Fox " and "The Gremlins ". About his children's stories he said once: "I make my points by exaggerating wildly. That's the only way to get through to children." Roald Dahl is perhaps the most popular and best-selling children's book author. However, these stories are so sarcastic and humorous, that also adults appreciate reading them. Roald Dahl died in November 1990. The Times called him "one of the most widely read and influential writers of our generation")

The Best Poem Of Roald Dahl


The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set -
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink -
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
'All right! ' you'll cry. 'All right! ' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain! '
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented? '
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY... USED... TO... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start - oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

Roald Dahl Comments

Federico Granier 18 October 2013

My own work as a tribute for Dahl (I am a non-english native speaker, sorry for any mistakes) PINOCCHIO – (The Roald Dalh unwritten story) An old wood-carver had a wish, although he had one cat, one fish, he asked a star for bones and skin (as a Blue Fairy was coming in) to see his puppet like a real boy to end his days with so much joy. Once inside the fairy said: , (as the old man was in the bed) You´ve been so good. You´ll be a dad. This wooden puppet´ll be your lad. She made Pinocchio come alive but in return he had to strive to do his best to tell no lies and if he needed good advise a little cricket could help him out if any problem might bring about. But he had to make a deal if he wanted to become real: brave and truthful he should be and he would have a new ID. From now on, all day, all night he couldn´t do anything right, he looked for pleasure, fun and fame, all of these without an aim. Lots of lies everywhere not at all being aware that his nose grew ever longer with each lie it was stronger. Till finally one marvelous day every crap he threw away he saved Geppetto from a whale all of them ended up hale. Back at home, the Magic Fairy, after seeing they were merry, said: Pinocchio, as reward your wish won´t be ignored She gave her wand a mighty flick but she started to get sick cause the magic didn´t work (she turned out to be a jerk) The Blue Fairy was a fake there was no magic, for god´s sake! You can´t imagine what you will hear: she was a simple puppeteer!

654 203 Reply
John Campbell 01 April 2012

I was a substitute teacher years ago. On my first day of subbing I was called to a school with a third grade class missing it's teacher for the day. Apparently, she didn't show up and nobody had any clue where she was. I was called at 8: 05 and class had started at 8: 00. In a mad rush I got ready and bolted out the door. When I arrived at school, I was rushed to the classroom of 35 anxious third graders and told, Good Luck! , by the absent minded principal who failed to give me any lesson plans or even a schedule for the day. I had no idea what to do. It was my first day in a classroom by myself. I got the children settled down and in their seats. I introduced myself. I glanced around the room. The only familiar thing I saw was a shiny copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on the shelf next to me. I grabbed it. I told the children to sit on the floor in front of me. I pulled up a chair. I began reading. I read that book to them, with as much animation and expression as I could muster from cove to cover! When Charlie won the ticket, the students had tears in their eyes. When the horrible children were stuck in pipes or blown up into blueberries, the students terrified eyes were in shock and their justice loving souls were delighted. At recess the kids didn't want to go. At lunch they wanted to return early to hear the end of the story, and as if by devine intervention, when I read the last line of the book, and closed the cover, the kids let out a satisfied sigh, smiled for a moment, and the dismissal bell rang. I taught no lessons on my first day. I taught no spelling. No math. No history. I only read a book. Cover to cover. By an author that knew what children needed and wrote in a way that children understood and appreciated. It was a great start for a teacher. And I doubt any of those third graders ever forgot the day they were read to for 6 hours.

538 256 Reply
Swagger Mcjagger 09 January 2013

His writting has such a swagger to it.

335 263 Reply
Reggie Cheung 07 December 2012

He is a super great talented author too. I recommend Matilda. A story about a remarkable girl.

338 225 Reply
Amy Willows 28 September 2013

the cinderella poem is nice at least she didnt marry the prince

291 212 Reply
Jaylen Wade 08 November 2021

His poems are the best ever

2 1 Reply
Maria Mettao 06 March 2021

I love his poems....

2 0 Reply
Pokeloluu 26 January 2021

I absolutely ADORE his poems

3 0 Reply
aliyah baghame 20 January 2021

u did good but fix your word but i had a hole paragraph but it had deleted it because it said only 300 words but need to fix your words then the story would of been good

1 1 Reply
BECKIE 05 December 2020

I like his poems they are soo good.

3 0 Reply

Roald Dahl Quotes

“Those who dont believe in magic will never find it.”

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who dont believe in magic will never find it.”

“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookshelf on the wall.”

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

“Dont gobblefunk around with words.”

“It doesnt matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.”

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”

“I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted. Books shouldnt be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage.”

“The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. She went to Africa with Ernest Hemingway and to India with Rudyard Kipling. She travelled all over the world while sitting in her little room in an English village.”

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.”

“Matilda said, "Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy its unbelievable...”

“Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.”

“Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? Its made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!”

“Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been in a different place with totally different people.”

“You should never, never doubt something that no one is sure of.”

“Im wondering what to read next." Matilda said. "Ive finished all the childrens books.”

“A little magic can take you a long way.”

“If you are good life is good.”

“We all have our moments of brilliance and glory, and this was mine.”

“We all have our moments of brilliance and glory, and this was mine.”

“Ive heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true. -Grandpa Joe”

“I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.”

“I want an Oompa-Loompa! screamed Veruca.”

“Fiona has the same glacial beauty of an iceburg, but unlike the iceburg she has absolutely nothing below the surface.”

“What I mean and what I say is two different things," the BFG announced rather grandly.”

“Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.”

“When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important: A stodgy parent is not fun at all! What a child wants - and DESERVES - is a parent who is SPARKY!”

“All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen.”

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.”

“Id rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans.”

“Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.”

“But there was one other thing that the grown-ups also knew, and it was this: that however small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance is there. The chance had to be there.”

“Words," he said, "is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life.”

“There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, youll be free if you truly wish to be.”

“I am the maker of music, the dreamer of dreams!”

Roald Dahl Popularity

Roald Dahl Popularity

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