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The Train To Hell

Rating: 5.0
I caught the train to Hell today
A dark and bumpy ride
So many souls were huddled there
Full packed it was inside

With men and women, children too,
It was a great surprise
So many people that I knew
Were set before my eyes
The train, it trundled `long the track
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COMMENTS
Shaun Cronick 17 July 2020
Another beautifully rhymed and presented poem to enjoy. What more is there to say except thank you Valerie. Take care and I wish you well.
1 0 Reply
B.Peterson 29 June 2020
It is great. Excellent rhyming and format.
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Dee Corpolongo 09 September 2012
This here I think, is a great dream/nightmare poem! I loved it. and, all I can say is excellent!
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Smoky Hoss 07 September 2012
An amazing ride, journey and poem!
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Crimson Soul 06 September 2012
a suggestion is-to make things real and lifelike-focus on the Possessions. it creates the scene better and mood enhancements are so much easier. It even makes the character develop. talk about fredys gun, or even the train after mentioning the conductor. but it is a very good poem ^^
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John Brown 06 September 2012
I love this. I'm scared though because I myself have plucked the wings off flies - - - Yikes! ! (I was only little though)
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Sunny Rose 05 September 2012
Thank God that was a dream coz i felt i was in the train too
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What a powerful poem Ms Valene Dohren.. I am too there in another train and I hope it not to reach its destination perhaps. The dream haunts and becomes a nightmare! A Good poem indeed!
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Godfrey Morris 03 September 2012
And then there`s me, O such a crime, I wrote a verse that didn`t rhyme And furthermore, I don`t see fit, The rest of it I should admit I love this poem. Especially this verse, quite amusing.
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Evelyn Nec 03 September 2012
And then there`s me, O such a crime, I wrote a verse that didn`t rhyme....these are my best lines.....and this is one sad poem....dived right to the core of my heart. I like this very much....great talent...Valerie.
1 0 Reply

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