To You, My Last Words - Poem by Jaymie Lanera
You roll in while the tide is high.
Come the morning sky when the tide
goes down; you have already gone
and leaped out of your mind and away
from all that mattered.
With a raft built of our recollections,
I incessantly attempted to keep us afloat;
The direction of our boat was under your control.
Consequently, as if the water wasn’t already rough,
My actions brought on a storm of thunder.
You disdainfully threw me overboard
where I drowned in shame for hurting you.
I desperately called your name, explaining that I never
meant to bring you such pain; I wanted to be
pulled from the sea and start over, I hoped you
would try to forgive me and want the same.
Following the tsunami of tirades that fell upon me
I saw you in the distance; to my rescue you came.
I approached this fragile encounter like a playful wave;
fully aware of how I should behave in order to prevent
us from separating like the deep and the wide.
Yet somewhere your change of mind pushed me
far up into the sky, providing for me a perfect view
of you crushing my heart and disappearing
to somewhere else, where I was not a part.
This must be a dream- somebody wake me!
I started running towards the coast only to find
A tragic love story scattered in front of me;
the one you rejected and left behind.
Now all that is left of our rapport lies
in sentimental pieces along the beach;
I stand motionless and numb to the wind,
trying to think of how things went so wrong.
I remember the sunrise
we watched parked on the beach;
you, me, the sun and the sea,
sitting in your Jeep watching the sun
evolve from the far sea;
the world seemed to disappear those days.
Now your Jeep just remains deserted
upon the beach, containing everything
I treasured in you. You continue to swim deep
towards the core of the horizon
But when the situation gets too deep
or the current too steep, you stop,
Then turn around, and reroute as if you were
A frightened trout at the mouth
of a great white shark.
Driven by intensity into the shadows,
your heart is speeding but your mind is too narrow
to feel it beating.
Your emotions are every last leaf that is
oblivious to their Autumn’s motions, and they are
the coral reef where somewhere your
mind does creep, peeping through the holes
defying its body.
The remains of our love rest
with those of your Jeep.
The indecisive sea crawls along the shore
and it seeps beneath the deteriorating tires,
dragging it down, along with our memories:
and the dreams we used to know.
On the shore the water begins mixing
with the sand, and our remaining footprints
which together we planted along the land,
are washed away.
I’m left with no answers, nor a way,
to replenish our beloved bliss.
You, seemingly unbothered, leave me
these last words which I am about to say:
You wounded my heart which I can’t dismiss;
However I will not be sad and damned if I cry;
I am stronger now - thanks for this.
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