Roald Dahl

(13 September 1916 – 23 November 1990 / Cardiff / Wales)

Excerpt – - Poem by Roald Dahl

'This famous wicked little tale
Should never have been put on sale
It is a mystery to me
Why loving parents cannot see
That this is actually a book
About a brazen little crook...'

'...Now just imagine how you'd feel
If you had cooked a lovely meal,
Delicious porridge, steaming hot,
Fresh coffee in the coffee pot,
With maybe toast and marmalade,
The table beautifully laid,
One place for you and one for dad,
Another for your little lad.
Then dad cries, 'Golly–gosh! Gee whizz!
'Oh cripes! How hot this porridge is!
'Let's take a walk along the street
'Until it's cool enough to eat.'
He adds, 'An early morning stroll
'Is good for people on the whole.
'It makes your appetite improve
'It also helps your bowels move.'
No proper wife would dare to question
Such a sensible suggestion,
Above all not at breakfast–time
When men are seldom at their prime.
No sooner are you down the road
Than Goldilocks, that little toad
That nosey thieving little louse,
Comes sneaking in your empty house....'

'...(Here comes the next catastrophe.)
Most educated people choose
To rid themselves of socks and shoes
Before they clamber into bed.
But Goldie didn't give a shred.
Her filthy shoes were thick with grime,
And mud and mush and slush and slime.
Worse still, upon the heel of one
Was something that a dog had done.
I say once more, what would you think
If all this horrid dirt and stink
Was smeared upon your eiderdown
By this revolting little clown?
(The famous story has no clues
To show the girl removed her shoes.)

Oh, what a tale of crime on crime!
Let's check it for a second time.

Crime One, the prosecution's case:
She breaks and enters someone's place.

Crime Two, the prosecutor notes:
She steals a bowl of porridge oats.

Crime Three: She breaks a precious chair
Belonging to the Baby Bear.

Crime Four: She smears each spotless sheet
With filthy messes from her feet.

A judge would say without a blink,
'Ten years hard labour in the clink!'
But in the book, as you will see,
The little beast gets off scot–free,
While tiny children near and far
Shout 'Goody–good! Hooray! Hurrah!'
'Poor darling Goldilocks!' they say,
'Thank goodness that she got away!'
Myself, I think I'd rather send
Young Goldie to a sticky end.
'Oh daddy!' cried the Baby Bear,
'My porridge gone! It isn't fair!'
'Then go upstairs,' the Big Bear said,
'Your porridge is upon the bed.
'But as it's inside mademoiselle,
'You'll have to eat her up as well.'

Comments about Excerpt – by Roald Dahl

  • (11/4/2019 12:23:00 PM)

    I never new such a good poem and story writer in my life. (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
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  • (11/4/2019 12:19:00 PM)

    it is really funny and it has a lot of rhyme (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Shaun Cronick (7/9/2019 5:28:00 PM)

    Such a joy to view again the master at work. (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (2/19/2019 6:31:00 AM)

    I love this poem:
    https: // id=OGC.dfb141606dc697ebc991cd6e39f7613a&pid=Api&

    0 person liked.
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  • (10/23/2018 8:29:00 AM)

    Lol this is good (Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • (10/16/2018 12:32:00 AM)

    I'm going to choose this poem to publish! (Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • (10/8/2018 8:33:00 AM)

    love it nice body quiet funny :)

    I WON ELOCUTION WITH THIS POEM! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

    3 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • (5/20/2018 8:11:00 AM)

    i searshd shot poets and u give me this this stoipt website (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    6 person did not like.
  • (1/10/2016 8:11:00 PM)

    ..............a great write and.great ending...and I agree with Susan...parents need to know what their children are reading ★ (Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    5 person did not like.
  • Susan Williams (10/18/2015 2:30:00 PM)

    Stories written for children need to be examined by the more enlightebed parent.. Hansel and Gretel- nightmares in the making (Report)Reply

    32 person liked.
    7 person did not like.
  • Brian Jani (4/28/2014 3:47:00 AM)

    You surely know how to wrote, I like each and every poem of yours (Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    11 person did not like.
  • (11/22/2012 5:56:00 AM)

    i just love it! (Report)Reply

    24 person liked.
    9 person did not like.
Read all 12 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010

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