saadat tahir

Gold Star - 5,713 Points (21011965 / Islamabad-Pakistan)

A Life Went Wrong.......The Denial Of Life

Poem by saadat tahir

On Hepatitis Day..approaching!

There he is, a very sick man.
Taut his face and a darkish tan.
Life for him, now a staple ban.
left not a friend nor a fan.

Wonder how others see him out.
Doubles he up in a coughing bout.
Think some, he's a filthy lout.
Punks skip by, give him a shout.

Cool and dig on the party scene.
Blonds and brunettes vied to lean.
Now he is ever hardly seen.
An no one else is either keen.

Seldom up an down the street.
Then, too often, he feels the heat.
Barely walks an drags his feet.
Eschewed even by a cop on beat.

Cringes he often clasps his hands.
Hair now thinned to wiry strands.
Stands he far at mounting stands.
Lonely soul from unknown lands.

Frail an done, lost and Gaunt.
Life's now just a slippery Slant.
No more welcome at his haunt.
He has no need and no want.

Life for him is a steady bad day.
Those he knew, turn, shy away.
Pitiable man that has no sway.
Caught up nature an yelled a stay!

Who'll pick up his dejected life?
Who's got the time for this rife?
A broken soul an body in strife.
Brooding days an toying a knife.

(Islamabad)
(May 14,2009)


Comments about A Life Went Wrong.......The Denial Of Life by saadat tahir

  • Sachidananda PandaSachidananda Panda (7/4/2019 10:38:00 AM)

    A broken soul an body in strife.
    Brooding days an toying a knife

    a nice way to sum up the theme of the poem.. liked it.(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Narayanan Kutty PozhathNarayanan Kutty Pozhath (4/23/2018 11:57:00 AM)

    It is a dog's life. Once you get into it, you are finished.(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
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  • Diane MontemayorDiane Montemayor (9/3/2017 5:15:00 AM)

    Dear Doc Saadat,

    They are not just physically ill, but also they are emotionally in pain..So sad..
    This truly happens....a very touching write.. Thank you for sharing the story of the poem with us.

    Sincerely,
    diane(Report)Reply

    Saadat TahirSaadat Tahir(9/3/2017 5:57:00 AM)

    Thanx Dianne... kind words...
    :)

    3 person liked.
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  • Tom Allport (6/28/2017 12:39:00 PM)

    a very sad poem of an illness that is for life? .............well written.(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Lina Katsorchi (5/9/2017 5:02:00 PM)

    Although the rhythm almost seems playful, the meaning is profound and sad. A nicely written poem, easy to read and yet touching.(Report)Reply

    4 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Sonali GangulySonali Ganguly (5/28/2016 12:59:00 AM)

    very well written verse(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Lady Darjeeling (8/21/2014 7:09:00 AM)

    thx for this truly absorbing poem.
    It's sad, but still - theres always someone who can see when another is suffering (be it physically or psychologically) ... which gives me hope.(Report)Reply

    4 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Kanav JustaKanav Justa (11/7/2013 10:45:00 PM)

    ... beautifully expressed... loved the way you wrote it and also the way you used the simili..(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Inwalked BudInwalked Bud (9/1/2013 4:25:00 PM)

    A very moving and sad poem.. abandoned and rejected...unfortunately, as so many people are, who are facing disease, sickness and poverty.. very well written..Thank you for sharing...(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Yasmin KhanYasmin Khan (2/16/2013 2:03:00 PM)

    The story of a man in plight, drenched in empathy and compassion is well described.
    ''Good doctors feel their patients' pain, literally'' says a recent research.(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Shirley Hanley (12/26/2010 6:36:00 PM)

    Saadat... I was deeply touched on a personal level by your poem as I come nearer to the end of this life...

    ~ Shirley(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Ashraful MusaddeqAshraful Musaddeq (6/17/2009 1:32:00 PM)

    'Who’ll pick up his dejected life?
    Who’s got the time for this rife?
    A broken soul an body in strife.
    Brooding days an toying a knife.'

    An excellent poem that touches inside.10+++(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Mamta Agarwal (6/15/2009 4:23:00 AM)

    very touching write. you have full control over your subject and vocabulary, which translates into vivid images and builds up the climax.
    this is untouchability in new garb.
    How it feels to be rejected and dejected, much harder to deal with than the actual disease and pain. ignorance and superstitions lead to a lot of cruelty.emotional pain hurts like a raw wound without scab.

    Mamta(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
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  • Ruth Walters (6/14/2009 3:33:00 PM)

    Thankfully HIV need not cut life as short as before with all the new drugs available and people should be educated not to discriminate and be so scared of folk that contract it. A welcome portrayal of people's fears as it needs to be brought out into the open and discussed. Well done.

    Ruthy(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
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  • Mehta Hasmukh AmathalalMehta Hasmukh Amathalal (6/9/2009 7:19:00 AM)

    Who’ll pick up his dejected life?
    Who’s got the time for this rife?
    A broken soul an body in strife.
    Brooding days an toying a knife...... sometimes we prove prone to diseases.. but who has the time........ good write dear(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Reshma Ramesh (5/31/2009 6:51:00 AM)

    hepatitis.........we dentists are very much prone to it.............scary....well penned(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
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  • Anna jonson (5/27/2009 9:29:00 AM)

    great rhythm, great meaning(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Shashendra Amalshan (5/27/2009 2:29:00 AM)

    yeah a very rouching and well versed poem indeed..thank you very much...liked the narrative manner in which you portrayed it friend
    thanks
    10+++(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Tamara Hanaring A Thought Mate (5/26/2009 3:50:00 PM)

    a very beautiful poem about a meaningful topic put in a beautiful way and rhyme..excellent one(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Tamara Hanaring A Thought Mate (5/26/2009 3:50:00 PM)

    a very beautifu poem about a meaningful topic put in a beautiful way and rhyme..excellent one(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
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Poem Submitted: Thursday, May 14, 2009

Poem Edited: Saturday, September 1, 2012