saadat tahir

Gold Star - 5,205 Points (21011965 / Islamabad-Pakistan)

Two Red Roses Ooze…21st April,2k11 - Poem by saadat tahir

…done as a sequel to my poem…"spring on crutches"

From fated gashes gurgle streams
Snatch carmine rags from the seams
Where gold peaks, from proud hills
Peppers life in dales, humming mills

A son lies sans cap and open mouth
Softly on grasses that creep from south
Sleeps, stretched, under the blue sky
pale in his green bed where rain drops fly

Gladioli tickle his feet, he sleeps, smiles.
Like a stricken child without the guiles.
Cradle softly nature, for he is cold
Ah! In life, was so warm and bold

No earthly incense shall quiver the nare
Nor mortal cares transgress his lair
He sleeps in the sun, hand on his breast
Calm! Red roses ooze from the side of his chest

Adapted from a famous French poem:
Le dormeur du val
(Arthur Rimbaud)
translated by Oliver Bernard: Arthur Rimbaud, Collected Poems (1962)
http: // poesies/Sleeper.html
Heavily borrowed and helped with… … i know not a word of French!

…done as a sequel to my poem…"spring on crutches"
07 April,2k11.

Comments about Two Red Roses Ooze…21st April,2k11 by saadat tahir

  • Rose Kanana (9/11/2016 12:43:00 PM)

    Beautiful flow of words-message well delivered Tahir. (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Dora Egan (11/22/2015 10:45:00 AM)

    The amount of creativity used in this work just let's your imagination grow.
    Job well done!
    (Report) Reply

  • Bharati Nayak (5/21/2015 10:20:00 AM)

    Poems as this touches the core of heart. (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (8/1/2014 3:11:00 AM)

    The pathetic plight of this child has left me crestfallen! Can any mother dare to look upon a sight so moving!
    I have read both the poems... Spring on crutches! As a doctor I am sure you will be coming across such sad spectacles every day.... Now when man's thoughtless pugnacity takes away the lives of many spring blooms, where has human conscience fled? So compelling a read! Top marks!
    (Report) Reply

  • Yasmin Khan (5/3/2013 5:24:00 AM)

    Far from the mortal care and fever of the world, basking in the bosom of nature in the world of his own lies the man. I wish I'd experience all that bliss of oozing out roses from the chest. It's a lovely read. (Report) Reply

  • Besa Dede (8/20/2012 9:47:00 PM)

    Very beautifully described! Great choice of words and metaphors!
    (Report) Reply

  • (6/5/2012 8:54:00 PM)

    I don't know the F..... word, so I'll take your translation with the touch of a Holy Book. Beautiful poem, Sensuous and soul searching. TFS.
    ~Leonard Dabydeen
    (Report) Reply

  • eloida Capuno (6/3/2012 12:52:00 PM)

    Brilliant metaphors i like the imagery of the roses (Report) Reply

  • Neela Nath Das (5/6/2012 11:09:00 AM)

    Nice word picture and at the same time the words act as sound.No more words to express my feelings.Speechless! (Report) Reply

  • Rigzin Namgyal (1/7/2012 10:44:00 AM)

    is was magical..what words.. (Report) Reply

  • (8/17/2011 6:45:00 AM)

    very beautiful `~~~~~~~` love it! ! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • (5/2/2011 5:47:00 PM)

    nice poem
    and very nice from you to mention the original source of the poem.
    i like really like it, since it the whole poem describes a child lying under the sky
    but in a magic words.
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/29/2011 2:05:00 PM)

    who cares for the original? definitely not i! (Report) Reply

Read all 13 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, April 23, 2011

Poem Edited: Tuesday, June 19, 2012

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