A Love Song Poem by Bharati Nayak

A Love Song

Rating: 4.8


Dear
I love you
But ÝOU' are not you
YOU'' are that beauty
Which fills me with light
ÝOU' are that hand
Which picks out the thorns
From my feet.
ÝOU' are that presence
Which is ever present
In my happiness and darkness
Dear
On my cloudy sky
YOU are the color
Which makes the rainbow
And YOU appear
As the North star
In a directionless weather.


YOU are not the Red -Rose, but
The red of the Rose
YOU are not the Rose
But the thorns that
Guard the Rose.

Dear
YOU are the song of the song-bird
Blue of the Blue-sky, and
Green of the Green-leaves
It does not matter
Where that ÝOU' lives
For I feel ÝOU
As the oxygen filled air
Circulating around me
And YOU will stay here
As a shaft of light
And the last piece of my breath.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: life,love,spiritual
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Geeta Radhakrishna Menon 17 January 2019

Most beautifully written, Bharati. Heartiest Congratulations. Truly deserving. Be blessed......10

3 1 Reply
Edward Kofi Louis 17 January 2019

In my happiness and darkness! Thanks for sharing this poem with us. Stay blessed always.

2 1 Reply
Bri Edwards 20 July 2017

Bharati’s poem about love…………… Bharati, feel free to delete this comment. You have received some very complimentary comments and this one will not quite follow the others. Maybe it is because I don’t ‘see’ some things the way (some) other people do, like some people are “colorblind” and colors do not show up to them as to others. [[ I am composing this comment as I progress through my second reading ]] My comments on “A Love Song”: I don’t understand the marks which appear around SOME of your “YOU”s in this poem, and NOT around other “YOU”s. what do they mean and why are the marks e.g. “ ‘ “ not used all the time? ? ? And ………I wish you would be consistent in your use of periods; it would make reading the poem a bit easier. :) :) at least a little bit easier. Favorite lines so far: “YOU is the color Which makes the rainbow” - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I don’t know what “directionless weather” is. Hmm? ……….but it DOES sound kind of ‘poetic’! ! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Here: “But the thorns that Guards the Rose.” …………………..speaking of thorns, I got some thorns or tears from plants in my ‘hide’/skin recently because I was not wearing gloves. Some I think are from rose thorns and some from blackberry thorns, and some others just from some other nasty plant(s) which didn’t like me pulling on it/them, probably without my gloves on or protective sleeves! ! ! And unless you mean “thorns” as a ‘group-noun’ [I made up that word], I would consider “thorns” ‘more than one and use “Guard”, not “ Guards”. And using the same ‘reasoning’ I would use “are”, not “is” after your “YOU”s. When I hear/read “you is”, I think of the way some black actors in movies and TV used to be portrayed as speaking. Maybe it is or used to be the way lots of Americans, black and white alike, spoke in the ‘Deep South’ of the U.S. years ago. I am not an expert on American vernaculars*** of course. ***[[from online source: “ver•nac•u•lar (vərˈnakyələr/) noun 1. the language or dialect spoken by the ordinary people in a particular country or region. he wrote in the vernacular to reach a larger audience synonyms: language, dialect, regional language, regionalisms, patois, parlance; More idiom, slang, jargon; informal lingo, -speak, -ese the preppy vernacular of Orange County o the terminology used by people belonging to a specified group or engaging in a specialized activity. plural noun: vernaculars gardening vernacular “ “As the oxygen filled air Circulating me “ ………………I would put “around” or “through” between “Circulating” and “me”. I really enjoy the last stanza the most of all. :) :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I wonder if “YOU” refers to any of the following: 1- a dead person you cherish/cherished 2- God or a god 3- A collective of a number of people and/or other ‘things, ideas, etc.’ which comfort you. 4- Mother Nature It is pretty clear that you LOVE somebody, ‘somebodies’, or ‘something(s) ’ in the poem. OR you are writing from that perspective anyway. To MyPoemList. I’m glad I read the poem again before I wrote the comment. Except for “YOU is”, which may be ok, depending on your meaning of “YOU”, I liked the poem a lot. You weren’t thinking of ME when you wrote this, ……………WERE YOU! ? ? Bri ;) I’ll use this in my/our August 2017 showcase of and for PH poet/poems. Thanks. I have not yet started putting the August poems in the showcase, but my introduction to it is posted in my list of poems. :) Remind me, please, if I somehow do not have this as the first poem I use for August.

1 1 Reply
Bharati Nayak 21 July 2017

Love is the most universal feeling, felt by almost every body.Our perception of love differs from person to person. I am highly thankful to all the great poets who have commented on this poem.I desist from replying on any comment as I respect all of their opinions. I will answer only the grammar part of my poem. As you said YOU should be placed in inverted commas in all cases or it can be written as in capitals so as to differentiate it from ýou'. I have used YOU in third person, because it is a separate entity from ýou', though YOU can be found in ýou'. I have used 'thorns' in the sense of group-noun- -the group of things treated as one thing. Many thanks Bri Edwards for your exhaustive comment and taking it to your August Show-case.

0 0 Reply
Bharati Nayak 28 August 2017

Hi Bri, I was wondering about the grammar -error that you pointed out.While writing, I also felt that using 'is'after YOU does not sound right and searching for a solution which will not alter the meaning of the poem With your advice and also help from poet Denis Mair I am making some corrections to the poem.

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Dr Dillip K Swain 05 November 2022

A fabulous poem dear poetess. Beautifully composed... loved it.

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Dr Dillip K Swain 21 October 2022

But ÝOU' are not you YOU'' are that beauty Which fills me with light....I admire this sober expression. A great poem.

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Dr Dillip K Swain 19 September 2022

A lovely poem... appreciated dear poetess. Stay always happy and blessed along with your beloved family.

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Continued.. Shakespeare has used 'most unkindest'. Why can't we

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It's fabulous, captivating and sublime as the nectar that relinquishes mortality. Language and literature, though inseparable, have separate purpose. A litterateur is free to cross the framework of grammar when it is necessary to put stress on a particular subject. Shakespeare

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