Am so afraid of how you feel
Listening to what you’ve said
Chills me to the bone
Our whole existence is on shaky ground
How has it come to this
Or has it always been this way
Lonely on the inside and lonely on the out
Angry at you for having this weakness
Beating myself up for being so hard
Unable to see it from your perspective
Seeing only instability on your part
Even though I love you so
I don’t know how to deal with this
Stubborn strength has always been my strong point
Never been one to give in easily
Or admit defeat in any way
Therefore how can you, my man
Are you not in control of what you do
Needs and wants
Against who’s will do you keep drinking
Don’t you see that you can stop
Determination alone will conquer
I want to help but don’t know how
Can’t understand the actual problem
That is a problem in itself
I feel like I don’t really know you
Or even worse, don’t know myself
Need to sit on this a bit
If we know anything it is that determination is useless against addiction. People need help - while in the throes of addiction, they cannot help themselves. And even if they stop by an act of will, they remain 'dry drunks' - not drinking but not cured either. I go to meetings every Saturday because I need the support of my brothers there. With their help and with the grace of God I have been sober for 12 years,
Not sur what happened? ? This was previously submitted and got deleted somehow. Pretty dissapointng because it had received some excellent comments. Here it goes again. Gyp's
I've been there (and left after 18 years) and I don't always feel comfortable revisiting the 'dark days', but I really liked this poem the first time I read it and I like it even more rereading it. I like the way you articulated what it feels like. avr
I don't strictly remember my comment, but thanks for returning the poem!
This one makes me stop and think while I read rhymes and drink my drink. I tell myself I know the score. I swear it makes me love her more. But I do know I walk a line where danger's working overtime. I'll take your words along with me and carry on most carefully. Thanx for the 'heads up'. Robert
I must say I love how you show how alcoholism affects others around us. But I do have to disagree on it not being an addiction. Not that I know all about it. But I am an alcoholic in recovery and without prayer and the 12 steps I could not stay sober for anyone or anything. Will power alone didn't work and in most cases don't work. Just my opinion. But other then that I loved the way you reminded me what my faults caused the ones I love to go thru and feel.
Great poem..............thank you for sharing............10+++++++++
It's almost as if I wrote this myself- I feel the same way- angry at myself for being so hard, pissy that he can't muster up the will power- abandoned when it takes over again....so, so sad for my poor sweet love-
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
You show well how addiction affects not only the addicts but the ones who love them. This was a affective cri du coeur. Linda H