Amazement! Poem by C. P. Sharma


Rating: 3.5

(I met Kabir)
This morning when in trance,
At my body I had a glance,
Me, its composition amazed,
How deftly are the elements caged! ! !

I met a potter, the Earth,
At the wheel she had berth;
Carving the pots so fine,
No artist can ever design.

Its every piece was unique,
Built with a perfect technique.
She had designed a cage,
Nine exits she did stage.

The Fire provided it the fuel,
The Water did keep it cool,
The Sky did its limit provide,
The Air bird was there inside.

The Air fanned them all,
Them in their places install.
The world suddenly became alive,
It was at the Marine Drive.

The bird inside cluttered and danced,
Its all activities I glanced.
Finally, Life bird flew out,
From my trance I came out.

Paul Hansford 14 May 2009

It is always difficult, in writing a poem as strictly rhymed as this, to make the rhymes natural. There are also a couple of rather awkward inversions - 'Me, its composition amazed' is not what we would normally say. But, having said that, this is an interesting and thoughtful poem, and keeps up its image all through.

0 0 Reply
Lalitha iyer 14 May 2009

Very nice introspection. Beautiful reflection.

0 0 Reply
Mamta Agarwal 14 May 2009

An intense moment of realization of perfection of human body, elements that bring it alive and a soul that gives nourishment. in amazement you looked. great write, inspired by Sufi poet Kabir. it has the same depth as his couplets.10++ THanks Regards Mamta

0 0 Reply
Bob Blackwell 14 May 2009

Wonderful description of how all life is born. 10++

0 0 Reply
Subroto Chatterjee 14 May 2009

Amazing...! ! Was it at Haji Ali on Marine Drive? ? Good metaphors & personification. IMAGINE... Cheers. Subroto

0 0 Reply
Gul naz 29 December 2009

great to read.........esp i liked the symbolism in ur poem

0 0 Reply
Rani Turton 30 November 2009

'The world suddenly became alive, /It was at the Marine Drive.' I liked this poem and enjoyed the insertion of this line.

0 0 Reply
Rachel Butler 20 September 2009

The bird inside cluttered and danced, Its all activities I glanced. Rachel Ann Butler

0 0 Reply
Lady Grace 01 June 2009

very good to is well penned..grace

0 0 Reply
Lynda Robson 19 May 2009

A very enjoyable read CP, great imagery in this amazing piece, 10 Lynda xx

0 0 Reply
C. P. Sharma

C. P. Sharma

Bissau, Rajasthan
Error Success