Angels With Laptops Poem by Professor Poetry Hound

Angels With Laptops

Rating: 3.4

How does Jesus know when someone commits a sin?
Are there little surveillance angels loitering around
just waiting to catch people jaywalking or cursing or
something? Man, how do they keep track of all of it?

They probably carry around little notepads or laptops,
right? Either that or they just magically remember all
of it until they have time to load it all onto some
central mainframe computer.

Once folks are in the sinner database there’s no way
to get off of it, is there? Oh, they can always repent,
but Jesus has already died for their sins and there’s
nothing they can do to reverse that.

My sins will go on my permanent record along with
that demerit I got the time Mr. Skeezix made me go to
detention in Junior High for slamming my locker too
hard. What a nimrod that guy was. I hope Jesus kicks
his butt, and I wish I could watch it happen.

Say, that would be a great reality TV show –
watching the different ways people suffer in Hell.
It would need to have a good laugh-track though.

Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler 08 November 2006

a laptop might be too cumbersome. i'd recommend God's angels invest in some Blackberry PDA's or something a little more practical. besides, i hear the wifi connections in Heaven blow. Jesus keeps sucking up all the bandwidth on bit torrents. Jake

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Anna Russell 01 November 2006

Where do you come up with these things? ! Maybe they could film people with brains being forced to watch reality TV - now THAT would be Hell (a pretentious comment from a girl who was addicted to America's Top Model, but hey, I'm a hypocrite!) . Another gem from the Hound Kennels. Hugs Anna xxx

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Chuck Audette 31 October 2006

Love the final stanza - the use of a laughtrack for a Hell reality show. As long as it's not George W. Bush's laugh - that's just creepy. -chuck

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That wonderful unique penning of yours picking on something which hadn't occurred to most of us and twisting it into our minds with the trademark sprinkle of humour and personal touch... fabulous. (I'd go for deletion on the sinning. Let me know when you find out how to hack into this computer) . t x

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