As Plain As The Nose Poem by Robert Charles Howard

As Plain As The Nose

Rating: 2.6

A nose is such a ruddy hoot -
sloping south between the eyes
with tubes flared out
like a hungry Hoover
sucking in fuel
for the old bio-furnace.

Ah, the multi-faceted proboscus!
You can turn yours up,
look down it on a twit,
blow it out
or stick it in where no one wants.

And we can thank our noses
when we linger for a spell
to savor a fragrant rose
or flee the traces of a polecat’s rage.

Yet, for me, the finest part of having one
is cutting loose a mega-sneeze -
that blows off like Vesuvius -
while everyone tenders blessings!

Yes indeed,
of all the things a nose can do,
nothing beats it when it sneezes.

December, 2008

Ron Flowers 19 December 2008

I enjoyed the chuckles this one caused. Regards Ron

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Samanyan Lakshminarayanan 14 December 2008

tha was real good humour- thanks for sharing

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Naidz Ladia 13 December 2008

simile....NICE FIGURE OF SPEECH.., , , but the truth....i only have one purpose, , , only for breathing..

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Ben Gieske 13 December 2008

Well done. Thanks for the humor. I have to be careful when blowing my nose, in case someone nearby is eating. One thing I remember about my father is the way he blew his nose. For some reason, I can't really remember anyone's sneeze in particular. I like all the descriptive adjectives you employed.

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M Asim Nehal 06 March 2016

Nice poem on the subject.10

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Adedolapo Olisa 21 July 2009

This shows the hilarious topic that a poem can have

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Kesav Easwaran 18 April 2009

humorous write...beautiful in its presentation and word selection...good work, Robert...i liked...10

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Alison Cassidy 12 January 2009

Robert, I only found this because I read your No 1 poem. So thanks for the prompt. And for this poem which is quite a hoot! What is it about males and noses? My beloved attends to his at bedtime as a sort of dogged and determined ritual (perhaps it is the history of sinus that prompts the intensity of his snorting and heaving and blowing) . I must admit during the early heady days of our intimacy I was somewhat startled by the fz of his hooting, but these days, it's just part of living with the one I love. You have taken a plain sort of subject and produced a work of wit and delightful quirkiness. Thanks. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Meggie Gultiano 23 December 2008

you made me nose is i realized its very important use..LOL.thanks for this treat. Hugs, Meggie

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